I found home far from my birthplace,
but at night my dreams remind me:
I see them, Mom and Dad and their home
at one with the landscape I now call my own
and in daylight reality I know
that my dream is more true than the maps which show
the distance between my home, their home.
Dreams evaporate the miles
and place upon the self-same soil
the place now my own,
the place I was born,
my mom, my dad, our home.
[March 18, 1997]
Powered by Twitter Tools.
I wrote this poem way back in 1979, as a sophomore in college — just a few months after I’d decided, after much agony of spirit, to accept what all my inner feelings were compelling me to know: that I was a lesbian. That’s the choice I made: not to be a lesbian — but to accept myself for what I was and had always been. And what I remain to this day.
It occurs to me that a lot of what upsets opponents to the ordinance — regardless of whether the ordinance ultimately passes — is that LGBT people are even out, being who they are. How many testimonies at the Assembly or letters to the editor have said one version or another of, “keep it hidden.” Never mind what hiddenness does to us. But don’t challenge (their version of) the status quo.
As Krestia DeGeorge wrote in Wednesday’s Anchorage Press,
I imagine Prevo might object to this characterization, but much of his activity in response to this ordinance strikes me as being less about affecting public policy and more about benefiting of his congregation. And part of that is keeping those personal relationships with gays or lesbians—the ones with the power to change people’s minds—from happening to his flock.
Prevo & company would prefer us to shut up & stay in our closets. But the closet is damaging to us. Had I lived there in the closet as they would’ve wanted me to live, I would have died long since: in spirit, if not in physical fact, a suicide. Accepting myself as a lesbian at age 19 was the first acceptance I ever had for myself, in any way, & was the foundation of my giving up self-hatred entirely in later years.
So today we have Pride. And in an hour or so I’ll head downtown to join in the parade & picnic.
Meanwhile, here if the very first poem I ever wrote in which I expressed any pride in being who I am.
Why, you ask, so I say that I’m gay?
I must be insecure, and rather unsure
if I always must come out this way.
Well, those straights set me apart
To them, dyke‘s just like fart —
something you know but don’t say.
They think we’ll be silenced
’cause our style it ain’t licensed,
and they’ll point at us, cage us away.
They call me a dyke
and that’s a long hike
from being a real human, we’re told —
but when I say I’m a dyke
with voice loud, like a mike,
they can see on those word’s I ain’t sold.
When I come out this way,
when I say that I’m gay,
I’m confirming their very worst fears…
but they listen to me,
that lezzie loonie,
and I know I got hold of their ears.
A zoo-monkey they fear,
commie pinko queer,
but some words sink in just the same —
when they hear me shout loud
that I’m gay and I’m proud
their insults become a bit lame…
’cause it’s always more fun
to make fun of one
who snivels or squirms at their jokes.
But when I speak with pride,
don’t commit suicide,
they start seeing we ain’t wimpy folks.
What I’m doing is affirming
my past closet-squirming
and my right to come out today —
and when I speak dignified,
self-respect’s magnified —
I’m just being upfront, don’t you say?
You say I’m unsure,
in my self insecure,
’cause I say too much with too much force?
Is it ’cause I unfurled
my self to the world
on my terms — instead of just yours?
[February 12, 1979
Wellesley College, Wellesley, Massachusetts]
Powered by Twitter Tools.
Despite the Anchorage Daily News doomsaying story that came out earlier today, Equality Works is still optimistic about gaining equal protections for LGBT people in Anchorage. Here’s the press release they just issued.
Contact: Jackie Buckley, (907) 229-6219
Mia Oxley, (907) 222-6770
Equality Works Supports Democratic Process on Equal Protection
Laments Obstructionist Tactics by Opponents of Fairness
ANCHORAGE, AK, June 17, 2009 — Equality Works, a coalition of Alaska Organizations issued the following statement regarding the Assembly consideration of Ordinance 64. Jackie Buckley, spokesperson, stated: “Equality Works believes in protections for Anchorage’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. We appreciate the patience of the Assembly and Anchorage during the hours of hurtful and offensive testimony by those who oppose equality.
“While those who oppose equality pretend to be willing to compromise, the truth is that they will never accept any ordinance that protects LGBT people from discrimination. What they really want is to maintain the right to treat us as second-class citizens and, with no valid or reasonable objections to an equal rights ordinance, have decided to obstruct the democratic process by filibustering the public hearing and postponing a vote indefinitely.
“Equality Works, our many allies, and the fair minded members of Anchorage know we have made the case that LGBT citizens deserve protection from discrimination. We have provided statistics, we have shared our stories of discrimination, and we have waited over thirty years.
“We need and deserve real equality—full protections in housing, public accommodations, and employment. Without the right to work, all the other protections mean nothing.
We will continue to stand together as a community: straight, lesbian, bisexual, gay, and transgender. We are ready to bring our case to the Assembly and to Mayor Claman, we are willing to bring our case to Mayor Elect Sullivan, and we are willing to bring our case to the people of Anchorage.”
Equality Works is a coalition of organizations and individuals working to protect Anchorage citizens from discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in matters of employment, housing, and public accommodations, and includes the Alaska Women’s Lobby, Alaska Women’s Political Caucus, Alaskans Together for Equality, Alliance for Reproductive Justice-Alaska, American Civil Liberties Union of Alaska, Anchorage Education Association, Anchorage Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, Anchorage Urban League, Association of Fundraising Professionals-Alaska Chapter, Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network-Anchorage (GLSEN), Identity, Inc., Immanuel Presbyterian Church, League of Women Voters of Anchorage, National Association of Social Workers-Alaska Chapter, Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest.
More information regarding the Ordinance may be found at: www.equalityworks.org.
###
Into my email inbox about an hour ago came the following Anchorage Daily News breaking news item:
Breaking News
Gay-rights ordinance appears doomed
The prospect of a gay rights ordinance passing look dim as Anchorage Assembly Chairwoman Debbie Ossiander says she will continue to allow testimony from anyone who wants to speak on the issue, effectively preventing passage of the ordinance under the watch of a supportive city administration.
If you click through to the story now, you’ll find that it’s been retitled “Prospects dimming for gay-rights ordinance” — a renaming which occurred about 11:54 AM between me posting my first comment on the article (at 11:53:39 AM) & my second (at 11:55:03 AM).
The story is by ADN reported Megan Holland — the same person whose earlier story, entitled “Residents demand to air views on gay-rights amendment”, prompted me earlier today to cancel my electronic subscription to the ADN. Why? Because the story failed to make any mention whatsoever of the long-brewing issue of nonresidents from Mat-Su being permitted to testify — just more evidence that the ADN is falling down on the job when it comes to actually investigating news stories instead of acting as mere stenographers for whatever they’re being told by the people they talk with.
You might recall that I wrote a post about the Outside influence issue last week. Fascinatingly, finally now in this doomsaying article, Megan Holland finally mentions the problem — the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in the ADN (unless I missed something — & I am willing to be corrected). Holland writes:
Opponents of the measure have been organized, showing up by the hundreds, bringing in Christian youth groups, and busing in churchgoers from Mat-Su, some of whom work in Anchorage.
Wow, finally some acknowledgment from the city’s newspaper-of-record!
A few days ago a friend of mine wrote to the Assembly objecting to permitting the testimony of non-Anchorage residents. He received a reply back from Assembly Chair Debbie Ossiander, which he shared with me. The pertinent parts (emphasis added):
The decisions on how best to conduct the hearings are made by the chair. I have taken into consideration the requests to limit testimony to residents of the municipality and have decided against that for several reasons. Many, many of the people who work and play in our town live in the Valley. Anchorage is a true regional city in the sense that its impact extends beyond its physical boundaries in many ways.
And so therefore those people who work & play in Anchorage but do not pay Anchorage taxes or vote in Anchorage elections should have the right to influence our elected representatives to permit discrimination against Anchorage citizens?
Try it this way:
Many, many of the people who work and play in our country live in Canada or Mexico, or hold green cards from other nations. The United States is a true regional power — in fact a world power — in the sense that its impact extends beyond its physical boundaries in many ways.
So let’s let Canadian, Mexican, & other foreign citizens come testify before Congress to influence U.S. lawmakers’ decisions about how to govern U.S. citizens!
I think not.
Then there’s the other issue the article mentions:
Some backers of the proposed law have accused opponents of filibustering — packing the hearing with opposition voices to stall the proposal until it falls in Sullivan’s term. Ossiander said she has suspected that at times but she has also heard very impassioned testimony that convinces her the issue is deeply important to people.
Jerry Prevo at Wednesday evening's Anchorage Baptist Temple picnic on the Loussac Library lawn. Prevo canceled ABT services that night in order that ABT members could attend the Assembly hearing.
Sure: the same impassioned testimony heard over & over from the same small subset of the Anchorage (& let’s not forget the Mat-Su) population, repeating the same talking points over & over again ad nauseum from the filibustering Christianists. As John Aronno of Alaska Commons wrote in his account of Wednesday night’s testimony before the Assembly — the same night, you might recall, that Anchorage Baptist Temple pastor Jerry Prevo canceled evening services so that his congregation could head over to the Loussac to overwhelm the Assembly —
I was there from the beginning of the meeting at 4pm, and left shortly after nine-thirty. The “voices of the people” are not sending any new messages that need to be put on record. The “voices of the people” are now a loop.
And later,
I don’t know where we go from here. If there is an upside, it is in the clarity that the Assembly has offered us. They have made up their minds. They’re not telling us how they’ve made up their minds, but it is clear that the time for changing their minds has solidly run out. The first attempts to filibuster the discussion and subsequent vote on this ordinance continue. But, even more prevalent is the new tactic to literally strong arm the law. The anger. The bully mentality.
One should add that most of the people who testified Wednesday night were the last of the people who originally signed up to testify on the night of Tuesday, June 9 — & thus probably included at least some of those persons originally bused in or carpooled over from the Mat-Su. Noncitizens that Debbie Ossiander persists in giving ear to. Because the repetitive testimony, principally from congregants brought to the Assembly en masse from Anchorage Baptist Temple & other fundamentalist or evangelical churches, and some of whom are noncitizens of Anchorage, is — y’know — impassioned. Well, filibusters usually do have something with group’s passion — including a passionate desire to run out the clock.
Debbie Ossiander is only cooperating in that, whether knowingly or unknowingly. One rather suspects the former. As a Facebook contact of mine wrote after the ADN doomsayer story came out,
I hate to say it, but I call it like I see it. It seems to me Ossiander is prolonging it so we can’t get it passed.
Yep, looks like it to me, too. Assembly Chair Ossiander has been uncertain in her own support or nonsupport of the ordinance, and by doing this “everybody should get heard even if they don’t live in Anchorage and even if they’re all repeating the same talking points over & over again,” she’s effectively also making it so that she perhaps won’t have to vote, and can escape unscathed from making a choice that will get her in trouble with either her conscience, or the conservative portions of her constituency. It’s questionable, to say the least, if this is a responsibly neutral way to handle the chair’s responsibilities.
As Celtic Diva (Linda Kellen Biegel) wrote, the first of the reader comments on the Megan Holland’s doomsayer story:
If this doesn’t pass, I hope Alaskans will remember that Debbie Ossiander is the reason why:
1) She allowed all of the bussed in Valley people to sign up and testify. Gee, I wonder what would happen if I wanted to testify on and Ordinance in Wasilla or Palmer?
2) She continued to allow people to sign up for testimony every day they’ve had it. Since I was one of the last people to sign up on the first day and I testified Thursday, they’d be done by now and voting on Tuesday.
Darn betcha I’ll remember — and I’ll be doing my best to ensure other people remember as well.
(P.S. You must’ve been in a hurry, Linda: I think you mean Wednesday. Though it was probably so late on Wednesday that it felt like Thursday!)
Powered by Twitter Tools.
See you tonight! Please wear blue, & your Equality Works button.
I’ve still been too wiped out to do much of any productive thinking or blogging today. But I was able to say a bit about the first two public hearings about Anchorage equal rights ordinance AO 2009-64, & so have other people. And other people have also talked about last night’s (the third) public hearing too. So I’m just gonna collect up some of the relevant stuff here, for your reading pleasure.
These are organized by which hearing (& the doings outside the library that they discuss, not necessarily the date they were posted or published. As usual, however, I do give the date of publication or posting at the beginning of the item, & identify the source at the end. Note that I’m not giving any precedence to stories by professional news media: I’m with Phil Munger on this, they’re so overextended & under-resourced that it’s clear full reporting is never going to get done without us bloggers.
I doubt this is comprehensive, but I’ll do my best, & add more to this list as I find it. (Or write it, since I’ll be adding a few more posts to the coverage too.)
[Updated 6/19 to add more links.]
Anchorage won't discriminate (June 17 along 36th Avenue)
Ordinance supporters Arliss Sturgulewski, Vic Fischer, Jane Angvik, and Chuck O'Connell (in foreground) on the first night of ordinance testimony
6/9/09. “Mat Su residents testifying in Anchorage?” by Erick Cordero Giorgana (Think Alaska). The first blog report I’m aware of that people had been bused in from the Mat-Su Borough to advocate that a government not their own testify against against its own citizens.
Jeffrey Mittman of the AkCLU and Tiffany McClain and Mia Oxley of Equality Works
6/9/09. “Hundreds air views on gay-rights ordinance — ONLINE: Followers max out streaming feed from meeting” by Don Hunter (Anchorage Daily News).
How many of these ordinance opponents are Anchorage residents, and how many are not?
6/10/09. “Last night’s anti-descrimination testimony in front of Anchorage Assembly full of emotional testimony and tears” by Gryphen (Immoral Minority). An overview of the night’s testimony. Here’s also where you can read about the altercation between a blue-shirted ordinance supporter and drunken red-shirted opponent which led to the red-shirt striking the blue-shirt and being arrested.
Crowded Assembly chambers on June 9
6/10/09. “Social Justice in Anchorage” by Mags (Winston’s Mom). Account of a heterosexual married woman who felt compelled to testify that the “GLBT community get that same protection under the law that all the rest of us enjoy.”
Mrs. Alaska United States protesting against proposed Anchorage equal rights ordinance. Photo courtesy Philip Munger ( Progressive Alaska)
6/13/09. “Saturday Alaska Progressive Blog Roundup – June 13, 2009” by Philip Munger (Progressive Alaska). Highlights some of the best commentary on the ordinance hearing.
What I testified about: At Kinko's with a couple of the copies of the "Prima Facie" component of Identity Reports, which I later gave to members of the Assembly
6/12/09. “Ordinance Hearing, Week 2” by Equality Works (Bent Alaska). Info for ordinance supporters for the second hearing.
Three livebloggers all in a row: John Aronno (Alaska Commons), Heather James (SOSAnchorage.net), and Mel Green (Henkimaa)6/16/09. "Live Blog from the Assembly" by John Aronno (Alaska Commons). John & Heather & I were all sitting next to each other liveblogging awa
EQUALITY NOW: Outside on the Loussac lawn while testimony goes on in the Assembly chambers
6/17/09. “Ordinance Hearing #2: Religious Rule has it’s Day in Court” by E. Ross (Bent Alaska). E. Ross observed (& photographed) the activist crowds outside & the overflow crowd watching testimony from the Wilda Marston Theatre.
Day Three: Red Sea Rising inside the Assembly chambers
6/17/09. “Wednesday Meeting Information” by Heather James (SOSAnchorage.net). Pre-meeting info.
Jerry Prevo at the ABT picnic on the Loussac lawn
6/17/09. “June 17 public testimony at the Anchorage Assembly” (photos) by Mel Green (Flickr photostream). Large set of 142 photos taken at the Loussac Library both outside and inside the Assembly chambers.
But there was plenty of Pride along 36th Avenue too
6/18/09. “Anchorage Anti-Discrimination Ordinance Rally: Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four“ by Janson Jones (Floridana Alaskiana 2.5). A series of four posts of photos chronicling activists on both sides of the issue outside the Loussac Library on Wednesday night as testimony was heard inside. I love the comment on part one in reaction to a sign that said “I was born Asian. You choose to be gay” — commenter Poietes (a name that I as a poet love!) replies, “Well, I was born Asian, and I choose not to be stupid, uninformed, closed-minded, and bigoted.” Meanwhile, I’ve added this blog to my Google Reader for all the fine photos from Alaska, Florida, Oklahoma, & elsewhere. Well-met, Janson!
Yes on 64 along 36th Ave.
Powered by Twitter Tools.
does anyone beat your heart for you —
oh yes I know there are some who
will quicken it
or slow it at their leaving —
but when you are alone at night
and sleeping, dreamless . . .
it is there . . . beating —
it will be there . . . beating —
till you die
does anyone beat your heart for you
does anyone live your life for you
do you cast a vote — plea for
intercession
do you hasten your death by forgetting
do you close your eyes and believe
what others say you see
[January 9, 1982]
I wrote this poem many many years ago, mostly in my head, one day walking across my home town of Columbia Falls, Montana, & thinking about people who seem to need to have other people tell them what to think & believe. Much of last night’s testimony against the Anchorage equal rights ordinance reminded me of this, as did the sight of the numerous teenagers bused in from Anchorage Christian Schools (affiliated with Anchorage Baptist Temple) to picket against the proposed ordinance along 36th Avenue — another use of kids as billboards to advertise the prejudices of adults.
I wonder if their classes in school gave these kids extra credit for waving their preprinted signs for Prevo? I wonder how many of them might actually be gay or lesbian or trans, but can’t tell anyone, & fight earnestly inside themselves against it because the adults in their lives teach them to distrust their own self-understandings?
Update: At first I thought the kids in the wine-colored shirts were from Anchorage Baptist Temple — but they’re not. from the Mississippi Avenue Baptist Church (MABC) of Aurora, Colorado, which visited Anchorage from June 14–22, 2009 for their Youth Mission 2009. On two of the days of their visit, June 16 and 17, the Anchorage Assembly was hearing public testimony on the Anchorage equal rights ordinance. So what did the adult leadership from their church have these kids from another state do during their youth mission? – Wave signs urging permitting continued discrimination against citizens of a different city in another state than they even live in.
The MABC youth mission was was hosted by the Anchorage Baptist Temple, whose pastor, Jerry Prevo, is a principal leader in opposition to the Anchorage equal rights ordinance. They were bused to the Loussac Library by ABT, and the signs they carried were printed by Alaska Family Council.
