Articles tagged with: suicide and suicide prevention
Trans-suicide: I nearly became a statistic myself
The National Transgender Discrimination Survey in 2011 found that 41% of its respondents had attempted suicide at some point in their lives . Annie Muse suggests that keeping oneself safe from self-harm is not so much about “coming out” to others as it is about “coming in” to oneself.
Alaska Pride Conference 2011: A photo essay
Mel Green spent most of yesterday at Alaska Pride Conference 2011, held on the Alaska Pacific University in Anchorage. The Alaska Pride Conference is an annual day-long event held in Anchorage filled with workshops, speakers, vendors, and great food.
Gay/lesbian youth are doing better than you think, says Ritch Savin-Williams
LGBT youth are a lot stronger and more resilient than we usually give them credit for. That’s what Dr. Ritch C. Savin-Williams of Cornell University said this past Monday as a guest on Line One: Your Health Connection on KSKA, Anchorage’s public radio station. The program can now be downloaded or listened to online.
Harm at the center
Self-hatred — including, for many of us, internalized homophobia and transphobia — is the harm at the very center of us. Love others as you love yourself, but first: love yourself. Let no one convince you to do otherwise.
For our sisters: Suicide is more than a gay men’s issue
by Rev. Johnathan Jones
The soldiers arrived at 6:30 am. Seeing two soldiers at your door when you have a family member on active duty typically means one thing. So as we sat there and were informed of her “self inflicted wound” we were not surprised. Shocked, but not surprised.
Last night, my foster sister, raised in Alaska, an active duty soldier and a very closeted lesbian shot herself.
Living in Alaska there are many of us who have been touched by suicide. As a pastor and youth worker within the LGBT community I am no stranger to suicide. The thing that strikes me though is this is only the second lesbian suicide I have had to face.
We don’t often hear of lesbians killing themselves. The media and our community have been very focused on the young gay teens who have taken their own lives due to homophobia and bullying. But what about our sisters? How many of our sisters have taken their own lives due to issues regarding their sexual identity?
My foster sister came out early in life, however, after a short period of time she went back in the closet, claiming she wasn’t lesbian at all. She later found a girlfriend, came out again, but when that ended, she went back in the closet. Hating herself for not being able to find a same-sex partner she determined she must be straight. After entering the military she married a man- that marriage lasted just weeks. Just recently, when she came home for recreation, she would meet her “friend”. Her “friend” was female and they spent almost every day together when she was home. Her internalized homophobia was so strong that she would not tell us the truth about the relationship- even though there are several members in our family who are openly gay and lesbian.
In trying to honor her I am asking myself: “what is it her short life can leave us”? We need to use this time to bring to light that it is not just young gay men who are taking their own lives: but also our lesbian sisters, and let me not forget our transgender brethren.
Suicide is a huge thing here in Alaska and the United States. While we have had great campaigns like “It Gets Better”, the truth is that for some of us it isn’t getting better, or simply saying “It Gets Better” isn’t reaching everyone. Maybe the reason is that we are just targeting young gay teens. Maybe we need to spread our nets further.
What I’m learning is that I need to be more aware of my lesbian, transgender and bisexual brethren who are just as vulnerable as our young gay men. I also need to remember that it is not just the young, but all ages. The first time I was touched by suicide, the man who killed himself was in his forties.
I don’t have any answers, just some thoughts that I need to share so that a life need not be totally wasted.
As a person of faith I believe she is in a better place, I just wish it didn’t take a gun for her to get there.
Obama: It Gets Better. Dan Savage: Thanks, now Make It Better
Over 10 million people viewed the It Gets Better project started by columnist Dan Savage, millions participated in Spirit Day events wearing purple to raise awareness of anti-gay bullying, and thousands attended vigils for the gay teens who killed themselves recently. Yet the suicides continue, with another gay teen taking his life this week.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton uploaded an It Gets Better message on Tuesday, and President Obama followed with his message on Thursday. They are strong messages against prejudice and in support of LGBT youth.
Clinton’s video was appreciated as the highest level government official to join the project at the time, while Obama’s message sparked anger in the LGBT community because the good words are contradicted by his lack of action on behalf of gay rights.
Watch President Obama’s It Gets Better video:
The It Gets Better project is about kids, anti-gay bullying and suicide prevention. This is the first time a sitting president has told gay youth that there is nothing wrong with them. He is a good speaker and his message can reach many people, including those who might not have heard this kind of message before and those who have been told otherwise. A speech like this from the president has the ability to save lives, and that’s what the It Gets Better project is all about.
Now it’s time to follow those words with deeds that actually make it better for LGBT youth and adults.
On Friday, Dan Savage responded to President Obama’s video, voicing the mixed feelings expressed by the LGBT community:
Thanks to Dan Savage and his husband for creating a project that brings national attention to the problem of anti-LGBT discrimination and the harm it causes our youth and our society.
Dan Savage: "It Gets Better"
Savage Love columnist Dan Savage, who spoke to sold out crowds at UAA two years in a row, has a new video project to give hope to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer youth who are harassed for being different and remind them that there is life after high school – and it can be great!
It started when Savage wrote a column about a gay teenager in Indiana who killed himself:
Billy Lucas was just 15 when he hanged himself in a barn on his grandmother’s property. He reportedly endured intense bullying at the hands of his classmates—classmates who called him a fag and told him to kill himself. His mother found his body.
Nine out of 10 gay teenagers experience bullying and harassment at school, and gay teens are four times likelier to attempt suicide. Many LGBT kids who do kill themselves live in rural areas, exurbs, and suburban areas, places with no gay organizations or services for queer kids.
“My heart breaks for the pain and torment you went through, Billy Lucas,” a reader wrote after I posted about Billy Lucas to my blog. “I wish I could have told you that things get better.”
I had the same reaction: I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.
But gay adults aren’t allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don’t bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.
Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don’t have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.
So here’s what you can do: Make a video. Tell them it gets better.
I’ve launched a channel on YouTube—www .youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject—to host these videos. My normally camera-shy husband and I already posted one. We both went to Christian schools and we were both bullied—he had it a lot worse than I did—and we are living proof that it gets better. We don’t dwell too much on the past. Instead, we talk mostly about all the meaningful things in our lives now—our families, our friends (gay and straight), the places we’ve gone and things we’ve experienced—that we would’ve missed out on if we’d killed ourselves then.
[snip]
We can’t help Billy, but there are lots of other Billys out there—other despairing LGBT kids who are being bullied and harassed, kids who don’t think they have a future—and we can help them.
They need to know that it gets better. Submit a video. Give them hope.
Dan Savage and his husband Terry talk about being bullied in high school for being gay and how their lives got so much better as adults:
Do you have a good story to tell about how life got better for you as an adult? They want to hear your story of How It Got Better!
It would be great to get some more videos that include more than one person. Gay couples, groups of friends, straight people and their gay friends. And we have lots of videos from folks who are focusing on what they suffered—which absolutely should be touched on. But it would be great to see some more videos that give young gay kids a picture of the lives they could make for themselves if they just hang in there… So if you decide to make a video, don’t just share your pain. Share your joy too.
There are dozens of videos listed as favorites on the It Gets Better YouTube site, and now cities are joining the project.
San Francisco was the first city to respond with an “It Gets Better” video. Check it out:
If you’re in Alaska and you make an “It Gets Better” video, please send the link to Bent Alaska so I can post it here as well.
There’s a big beautiful world out there waiting for you. It gets better. Trust me.
