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Home » "Getting" each other, Commentary

Nature v. nurture

Submitted by on Thursday, 5 April 2012 – 8:59 AM3 Comments

by Taylor

I love myself. That's all that matters.Okay….we’re going to play the game of choice vs. not a choice…or if you will, nurture vs. nature. Because I’ve seen a lot of nonsense circulating the web of how “those people” “choose” to be gay. Or transgender. Or whatever. I will be using myself as an example, to make things very clear. Statements will be in “I… — because” format. Tell me which ones make sense. Trolls and and flames will be summarily……dealt with.

I choose to eat a vegan diet — for the health benefits (I’m mildly allergic to dairy), and because I do not think that it is necessary for other creatures to suffer, just because I happen to think it tastes good. Whether or not that “food item” tasting good is for social or chemical reasons, is beside the point.

I choose to drive a fuel-economic car, when I do drive — because it makes financial and environmental sense.

I choose to treat people around me with dignity and respect — in part, because that is how I was raised, and in part, because I do not like how I feel about myself, when I stoop to anything lower than that.

Here’s the doozy. Wait for it…wait for it….

I choose to be gay — because I like being bullied, discriminated against, told I’m going to hell by people that practice homage to a god or gods I don’t believe in, and generally like feeling trodden-upon. Tell me, how does this make sense? It doesn’t. Not one little bit.

Here’s one that is more accurate:

I choose to be accepting of who and what I am (in this particular case, a gay person) — because I have tried not being accepting of myself, and it nearly ended my life. I choose to be open about who and what I am — because I do not like lying to or about the people I love. I choose to embrace myself, to be happy with myself — because to do otherwise, would be to step down the path to misery and despair again, and life is too damned short for that.

So, if someone has a problem with another person being okay with themselves for something — in the long run — as trivial and idiosyncratic as sexual orientation or gender identity, I suggest they take a good, long, hard look in the mirror, and figure out what’s making them so miserable, that they feel they have to hurt others to make themselves feel better.

Photo credit: “I Love Myself.” Taken in the Dang Wangi MRT in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, 30 Dec 2011. Photo by Trevor Mills (trevphotos on Flickr); used in accordance with Creative Commons licensing.
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