Mel the reluctant political blogger is going to Netroots Nation after all — on full scholarship through the LGBT Netroots Connect initiative. Wanna know what I said on my scholarship application? Then read this post.

I wasn’t going to go.  I didn’t want to go.  When I ran into Shannyn Moore at the Bear Tooth back in February, and she suggested I apply for a Democracy for America scholarship to Netroots Nation, I told her that since I was trying to steer myself toward my writing — which feeds my spirit in a way that political blogging does not — I didn’t actually want to go to Netroots Nation.  I directed the energy I might have used to fill out a scholarship application toward instead writing a post in support of the candidacy of my friend John Aronno of Alaska Commons — and, because he’s such a great ally of LGBT Alaskans, I asked Bent Alaska readers to support him, too. (And I’m happy to say that John won an NN scholarship in Round 1 of the competition. Shannyn is also going to NN.)

All of that was before I became as deeply involved with Bent Alaska as I now am: a coadministrator and behind-the-scenes geek, as well as an ongoing contributor.

So at the beginning of May, when Jeanne Devon of The Mudflats (aka AKMuckraker) wrote to me about an “interesting opportunity,” I went for it. Yeah, I decided.  I do want to go.

The opportunity she put me onto was for a full or partial scholarship under a new Netroots Nation initiative, LGBT Netroots Connect, which — well, let the mailer tell the story —

For the past three years, an activist named Mike Rogers has taken it upon himself to organize LGBT bloggers, organizations and their allies at Netroots Nation. His efforts have been so successful that we’re making it an official part of our program—a new initiative called Netroots Connect.

Netroots Connect will bring small groups of progressives together for a day of strategizing around a particular issue. We believe the conversations that happen here will lead to the next generation of organizing efforts for key progressive issues.

And most importantly, we want you to be a part of it. You can apply to be part of this special strategy day for LGBT bloggers, organizations and allies, which will take place June 15.

Click here to apply for a spot.

The program also features some budget for full or partial scholarships to attend Netroots Nation in an effort to make sure the LGBT community is fully represented at the conference.

The day-long event will bring together those with a stake in a strong LGBT movement—bloggers, key activists and representatives from various LGBT organizations—for a daylong session designed to help form greater strategic alliances within the movement.

As of this writing, the “Click here to apply for a spot” link still takes you to the application form I filled out.  But don’t bother filling it out — the deadline was May 6.  But feel free to take a look, if you’re interested in the kinds of questions I was asked.

This scholarship didn’t have a public “support your candidate” component like the Democracy for America competition John & Shannyn were in, but I did keep a record of my most important answers. So I’ll supply those to you too.

Write a tweet: Who are you and why should you be at Netroots Nation?

I’m a writer, poet, & deep thinker who aims to educate & persuade with fact & opinion expressed with reason, clarity, passion, & respect.

In 50 words or less, what do you hope to gain from your participation in Netroots Nation?

I recently became coadminstrator of Bent Alaska, Alaska’s LGBTQ blog. I hope to get counsel on how to bring in other writers/bloggers to enrich Bent Alaska with more content from more voices.

In 50 words or less, what do you hope to bring to Netroots Nation as a participant?

I bring my perspective: I’m ambivalent about being a “political blogger” because politics, commonly understood, tends to be about political parties, ideologies, who’s got the most votes. I want a deeper democracy, in which every person has right of participation in any decision affecting her/his life and work.

Blogging/Online Qualification * Scholarship recipients must be a regular blogger with an average of 5 posts per week or engaged as an online activist for 10 or more hours per week.

•    I blog 5 times per week on average for the past 4 months.
•    Other: I’m principle investigator of the Anchorage LGBT Discrimination Survey (in progress); we plan also to conduct a statewide LGBT community survey.

Website names/address(s)

www.henkimaa.com
www.bentalaska.com
alaskacommunity.org

Do you work for an organization or company working in the on-line arena? Tell us a bit about your experience and the work you currently do.

I’m a 20-year staff member of the Justice Center at University of Alaska Anchorage, where I’m a publication specialist and web manager responsible for our large research-oriented website and online and social internet activities. justice.uaa.alaska.edu

In 50 words or less, what issues do you focus on and what issues would you like to learn more about.

I’m eclectic. I write about writing, my life, health and mental health, the justice system, politics, religion, philosophy. Politically, my most important focus, especially on Bent Alaska, is LGBTQ equality. I’m especially interested in unlocking the lock rightwing Christianist ideologues have on religious discussion of LGBTQ people and issues.

Three links * Please enter three blog post links you would like to include in your application. (Important: Do not worry about design issues at all, this is about original content.)

http://www.bentalaska.com/2011/03/harm-at-the-center/
http://www.henkimaa.com/2009/09/03/no-debbie-title-vii/
http://www.henkimaa.com/2009/05/29/prevos-devil-masks/

[I also thought about these links, but opted for the 3 above. Actually, I thought about a whole buncha other links too, but opted for the 3 above.]

http://www.henkimaa.com/2009/05/22/prevos-red-herrings/
http://www.bentalaska.com/2011/01/anchorage%E2%80%99s-lgbt-discrimination-survey/

Here’s your chance…. Anything you want to share that is not covered above? This is the place.

I’ve accomplished some important work in Alaska toward LGBTQ equality, including blogging about the 2009 “Summer of Hate” in Anchorage regarding a sexual orientation/gender identity equal rights ordinance. I’m also known here for some of my in-depth posts on Sarah Palin, Anchorage Mayor Dan Sullivan, and efforts by rightwingers to overturn provisions of Alaska’s constitution on judicial selection and retention, among other “political” posts.

But by far the most important work I’ve done for the cause of LGBTQ equality and progressive politics in general is to live openly and matter-of-factly as who I am — as a lesbian, yes, but also as a writer of poetry and science fiction/fantasy; as someone with a B.A. in Religion who continues to be fascinated by the human religious impulse; as someone who has struggled lifelong with depression/despair; and as everything else I am . That’s how I live my daily workaday life, and it’s also how I blog.  Thus, I write about all sorts of stuff that I care ranging from day-to-day trivia to philosophical ponderings to the well-researched and documented political.  I think it’s important to fight the political fights we fight, but it’s also important to live the lives those political fights are about — and to reflect our lives, with integrity, in how and what we write.

And so, this past Sunday night I got the word: I was in.

Mel the reluctant political blogger with Brian the Moose at the True Diversity Dinner, September 2009. Photo by Jeanne Devon (AKMuckraker) of The Mudflats.

I did inform a few people — notably Jeanne Devon, who told me about it in the first place, and my co-admin at Bent Alaska, E. Ross, and my fellow members of the newly created Bent Alaska News Team — but didn’t get around to writing a post about it until now because, well, I’ve been busy writing other blog posts. Oh yeah, and doing some of that writing that I told Shannyn Moore back in February I wanted to do instead of any of this political blogging.

Besides, I also wanted to get my travel arrangements in place.  I did that today, with the help of the very activist whose efforts over the past few years led to the LGBT Netroots Connect, Mike Rogers.  Turns out that this is the Mike Rogers who’s the managing director of Raw Story — and a really cool guy who’s looking forward to get an Alaska LGBT blogger down at Netroots so he can grill me about… well, you know which famous Alaskan he wants to grill me about.

Now I really want to go.

You’ll be hearing more about Netroots Nation on both Henkimaa and Bent Alaska over the next few weeks, especially when I’m right there in Minneapolis: one of my obligations as a scholarship recipient is to write at least two 125+ word blog posts per day over the course of the conference.

(125 words? Ha! Think I could possibly ever right a blog post shorter than 125 words?)

Meantime, I want to thank Shannyn for thinking of me back in February, Jeanne for thinking of me back earlier this month, Mike Rogers, for deciding he’d like to meet me in Minneapolis on June 15, and E. Ross, who founded Bent Alaska in March 2008 and single-handedly made it the single most important source of news and information for LGBTQ Alaskans and their friends and allies.

(She really should be going to Netroots Nation herself,  but unfortunately has other obligations.)

Related posts:

1. Help John Aronno of Alaska Commons go to Netroots Nation
2. Prepping for Netroots Nation — #nn11 #nn11lgbt
3. The Daily Tweets 2011-06-03: The Netroots Nation 11 mobile phone app is just as cool as bow ties

With Rozz, Whylie the dog, & my thumb, Christmas 1996: just a few days after he arrived in Alaska

I never intended to become a mother, but then my partner’s nephew came to us from a background of severe abuse & neglect. Now he’s 23 & doing great. In contrast: the case of Anya James.

On May 8, the boy said to me, “Happy Mother’s Day.”

It was, of course, Mother’s Day, and I did, of course, help raise the boy — he’s actually a man now — from the age of 9 years and 2 days. That’s exactly how old he was the first time I saw him coming off an airplane when he first arrived in Alaska late 1996. He’s now 23.

I don’t know why, but I’d never really wanted to have kids.  I simply never felt that instinct or desire or whatever it is that so powerfully prompts so many women toward motherhood.  It worked out well that I turned out to be a lesbian.  Not that lesbians are unable to have children, but it takes effort to find a sperm donor; even more effort to go through large swaths of one’s life mistakenly assuming (as the endemic social propaganda would have it) that one is heterosexual, and having a boyfriend or marriage, having kids that way, & only then realizing you’re gay — & having to figure out what to do about it.

With me on a backpacking trip in the Chugach Mountains, Chugach State Park, near Anchorage, Alaska. Abt. Aug 1997. He was 9.

I never had those issues: I came out early enough never to have gotten sexually involved enough with a guy to risk pregnancy; & I never had the desire to go the turkey baster route.

Or, as I’ve often joked,

I thought I thought I had a foolproof birth control method — until I became pregnant with my partner’s nine-year-old nephew.

I’ve never gone through real labor, so can’t compare my experience with any other woman’s experience of becoming a mother.  I can only tell you that it hurt like hell.  As I wrote a couple of years back,

This was a boy who had been at the very least witness to sexual abuse of one of his siblings, if not a victim of it himself; & had most definitely been victim of physical & emotional abuse & neglect.  And for many long months in his fear of more of the same, he took it out on us.  I had never lived with abuse before — an abuse that I reckon was not him abusing me, but was his father reaching through him — as [the boy] used to say, “[My father] is in my head.”  It messed me up so badly, it took months to for me a wordworker to find words for it:

Cycle

the man in the head of the boy
the father of memory
the father who would pitch
his sons into the wall
the man who used their sister
for his “needs”
who sold them back for
four hundred dollars
in an Oklahoma City
KFC

the man in the head of the boy
the man in the boy’s fist
in his kicking feet his butting head
his spit on my face his biting teeth
in the bruise yellow and purple and green
on my arm the blood beneath my skin

the hurt that cannot speak

But, long story short, we got through the hard times, he learned to trust us, and the violence went away. And I became a pretty good parent.  I’ll never forget the success I felt after I successfully negotiated him and two other boys his age, his friends, through grocery shopping at Fred Meyer’s followed by a visit to the video store, where they had to agree on three videos for us to rent.  I lived! They lived! I had skills I’d never knew I had!

And life went on, and years were lived through, and here we are: a 23-year-old young man, working hard, living through his first (one doesn’t yet know if it’s his last) long-term relationship with a girlfriend, and sitting next to me on the couch Sunday night saying, “Happy Mother’s Day.”

For all that I’ve never been “Mom” ( I’ve always been Mel); for all that I’ve never had any form of legal relationship with him (he came up her as relative foster placement with his aunt, Rozz, now Ptery, my then-partner); for all that I had never actively wanted a kid — yeah.  All the same, I’m a mother.  And it means a lot that he sees me that way too.

Williwaw hike in the Chugach Mountains, 1997

And then enter the case of Anya James. She’s the adoptive mother who’s in all the Anchorage headlines now: indicted on 10 felony counts of kidnapping and 6 felony counts of first degree assault for her (alleged) abusive treatment of 6 adopted children. Kidnapping because she is accused of locking the kids up in their rooms in order to prevent their escape. A good chance she did a lot more harm than that: she’s had lots of foster kids over the years too.  And the Office of Children’s Services (OCS) and the Anchorage Police Department — both of whom had a number of complaints and contacts with James over the years — somehow missed it all. While the kids continued to suffer.  Yeah. They really dropped the ball. Read all about it.

I’ve been angry since James’ arrest was first reported. I’m angry not only about James abuse (alleged) of these kids, but also about many of the kneejerk & often highly biased comments made by online readers of the Anchorage Daily News about the case.  Case in point: the one that prompts me to come back to this post in the middle of the night, wherein a commenter identified as kearbear wrote,

Anya had everyone fooled.  It happens. The only true advocate for children are the biological parents. When the biological parents negate their job and abandon their children it is a crap shoot. Many foster parents and adoptive parents are loving. Sometimes they are cruel and abusive.

Maybe s/he’s just not a very good communicator in writing. But in any case, the comment that “the only true advocates for children are the biological parents” got me pretty ticked off.  After all, I have a good deal of firsthand experience with the results of what fine and “true advocates” my kid’s bio parents were for him and his siblings.

What I wrote in response:

“The only true advocate for children are the biological parents.” But then you go on to say, “When the biological parents negate their job…” do you see the contradiction in your words here?

Different cases are different. I am the nonbiological parent of a boy who at age 9 came to live with my and my partner, his biological aunt. We were two women raising a boy — the middle of three kids — who had been physically & (at least in his sister’s case) sexually abused & neglected by their biological father & stepmother, & got only a bit better deal from their biological mom & stepfather before they were taken by child welfare authorities in the county in Missouri where they lived at the time.  His biological parents were not “true advocates” for him. They were both disasters. His advocates were me & my partner: two women, lesbians. I have never even had any kind of legal relationship to my kid (though his aunt, my partner, did) — but I have been more an advocate and a parent to him then either of his bio parents ever in a million years would even think of being.

And now today, he’s a 23-year-old happily adjusted young adult (sitting next to me as I write watching Doctor Who) with a job & a girlfriend, who seldom has nightmares about his father anymore.

But back then: he was one of three kids, two of the whom were warehoused on pysch drugs in a children psych hospital for years, the third — the one who came to live with us — on a succession of 4 different psych drugs plus a succession of 6 or 7 foster homes in Missouri (we’re still not sure the exact number) before a group home for six months before he came to live with us.  He was scared, angry, violent, & passed it on to us because he thought we would treat him as he had already been treated.  It was horrific for me: I’d never lived with abuse before.  It was his father’s abuse — “[father's name] is in my head” he’d say after violent outbursts” — emerging through him, directed at us in threats, biting, spitting, hitting, kicking. It wrecked me for awhile.  What saved us was the help. We had wraparound services under the Alaska Youth Initiative — where has that program gone? Away?  We as parents were part of a treatment team also including a case manager from Alternatives, the community mental health center; an outpatient therapist; a home-based therapist who came in & helped us deal with in-home issues; & activity therapists who took him out on activities in the community (also providing us with needed respite at times from what was very traumatic for both of us).  And we had our friends.

Without that help we couldn’t have done it.  It takes a village.  It seems like in this case, & maybe it’s systemwide now, it’s a matter of “hand the kids off to someone & let them handle it” — alone, without either support, or checks on them.

Yes, OCS dropped the ball. Bigtime.  But you know: I’ll betcha that even as it was in our time with DFYS (OCS predecessor) & the continual revolving door of social workers coming into our lives, then burning out & leaving — OCS doesn’t have the resources to really care for the kids under its jurisdiction. I haven’t checked into it, but I’ll betcha that the budget just isn’t there.  I haven’t heard squat about Alaska Youth Initiative in years either, without which we could not have survived just _one_ kid who’d been evaluated as “severely emotionally disturbed.” And the reason the resources to look out for children of abusive parents isn’t there?

Because the people of Alaska will blather on endlessly about how much they love kids — but they won’t put their money where their mouth is.  They could care less about these kids, until something like this happens.  And most of them will forget about it by sometime mid-next week.

And I’ll just leave it at that (for now) and go to bed.

Except first to say: to hell with the creeps who claim that lesbians and gays should have no right to be parents. Yeah, Mr. & Mrs. Heterosexual did such a grand job with my kid & his siblings.  A grand job, that is, of beating the crap out of them & leaving us to pick up the pieces.

Resting up from another hike. Powerline Pass, Chugach Mountains, 2006. The dog here is Sweetheart.

Related posts:

1. James Dobson’s God is a child abuser, & so is Jerry Prevo’s
2. It Gets Better, the book: A “message in a bottle” to LGBT youth
3. Same-sex marriage: A personal history

Here’s Wikipedia:

In a politico-religious context, dominionism (also called subjectionism) is the tendency among some politically-active Christians, especially in the United States, to seek influence or control over secular civil government through political action. The goal is either a nation governed by Christians, or a nation governed by a conservative Christian understanding of biblical law.¹

Lots of us Alaskans have been kinda wondering if Governor Sean Parnell — sometimes called “SP2″ since he follows in the footsteps of former governor Sarah Palin — might be one. Especially after his February 11 appointment² (currently awaiting confirmation) of Valdez  ultraconservative Don Haase of the ultraconservative Eagle Forum — an affiliation Haase neglected to include on his resume — to the Alaska Judicial Council.  As I wrote in a comment on the Anchorage Daily News story³ about the Alaska Senate Judiciary Committee’s questioning of Haase,

Putting people like Haase on the Judicial Council is part of Parnell’s participation with ChangePoint, Alaska Family Council, & related to try to overturn judicial independence in Alaska. Over the past couple years they’ve attempted to get rid of the Alaska Constitution’s provisions about the Judicial Council (via lawsuit in the case of Miller v. Carpeneti); they’ve tried to force judges up for retention to answer litmus test questions on abortion & LGBT rights; now they’re trying to stack the Judicial Council with members who will also work to keep nominees for the bench out based on those same litmus test questions.

That’s what Haase’s about, that’s what Gatto chair of House Judiciary is about, that’s what Sean Parnell is about. They don’t want _good_ judges: they want judges who will be in ideological agreement with them.³

Henkimaa readers may remember that I wrote quite a bit a couple years back  about the  Miller v. Carpeneti lawsuit, which sought to overturn provisions of the Alaska Constitution with regard to judicial selection and to undermine the checks and balances of our governmental system by placing more power into the hands of the executive branch at the expense of the judicial branch. See the post “Lawsuit asks feds to overrule Alaska Constitution” for a discussion of those issues.⁴

See also the post “Miller v. Carpeneti: The conservatives behind the attack on Alaska judicial independence and impartiality”⁵: One of the plaintiffs in that case is Carl Ekstrom who was a development director at the Anchorage megachurch ChangePoint.⁶ And guess what? — Sean Parnell also attends ChangePoint.⁷ Now, I don’t know that the church itself is attempting to promote this longterm campaign against judicial independence, but it’s where a lot of religious right activists rub shoulders, and events are frequently held there related to rightwing political issues, such as abortion.

Another plaintiff in Miller v. Carpeneti was Anchorage attorney Kenneth Kirk, an Anchorage attorney practicing in the areas of family law, estate planning, adoptions, and elder law. According to a 2009 Anchorage Press article by Scott Christiansen,

He’s also done some in-court activism on behalf of James Dobson’s Family Research Council, a major national policy arm of the conservative Christian movement. When the FRC wanted to file a friend-of-the-court brief in Alaska lawsuit over parental consent and minors choosing abortion, they called on Kirk.⁸

And so who else should show up on Sean Parnell’s February 11 appointment list but Kenneth Kirk?² — in his case, the appointment was to the Alaska Public Offices Commission (APOC), the state agency charged with administering Alaska’s laws on campaign disclosure, financial disclosure of legislative and public officials, and lobbying regulation.  What a great place for an ideologically driven Republican Party of Alaska attorney⁹ to find himself.

Kirk was questioned on March 17 in the Alaska Senate State Affairs Committee about his views. Here’s an excerpt from the committee’s minutes:

SENATOR PASKVAN noted Mr. Kirk’s writing on the merit based system for the selection of judges sets out a dichotomy between liberal and conservative, and asked how he would apply that distinction in his work with APOC.

MR. KIRK replied that is his private citizen view. As a commissioner he would need to be more careful and considered in his decisions. He noted that he writes for the Bar Rag and his writings often try to shake things up; as an APOC commissioner he would be much more cautious.¹⁰

But can he be?

Questioning went into Mr. Kirk’s use of the word weapon in a 2007 article he wrote for Americans United for Life titled “Alaska: Conservative State, Liberal Judiciary” — essentially a report on the state of the Alaska judiciary regarding the issue of abortion from a “right to life” perspective.  Here’s the quote at issue:

In the past decade, the Alaska Supreme Court has gone far beyond the United States Supreme Court (“USSC”) in making it difficult for the legislature or governor to restrict or limit abortions, using the state constitution as its weapon.¹¹

From the committee minutes:

SENATOR PASKVAN  noted the phrase  “using the  state constitution as  a   weapon”  in  Mr.   Kirk’s  writing  is  a   concern.  The constitution is more of a  standard than a weapon. That reference was made  to the Alaska  Supreme Court. The writing  was “Alaska: Conservative State, Liberal Judiciary.”

MR. KIRK said  he did that writing at the request of an advocacy organization. The  reference was to the Supreme Court trying to push a particular agenda.

SENATOR PASKVAN said he was focused  on the word “weapon” and why Mr. Kirk would use that term.

MR. KIRK said he doesn’t recall,  but his point was probably that the court  was  not  interpreting the  constitution  but  rather misusing it to push a particular agenda.¹⁰

But it could be just as easily argued that Mr. Kirk’s article was pushing an agenda and that the Alaska Supreme Court, charged with interpreting the Alaska Constitution, was doing just that.  Certainly the lawsuit in which Mr. Kirk joined in 2009, Miller v. Carpeneti, was squarely aimed at toppling the judicial independence — i.e., independence from political and ideological litmus tests — provided to the Alaska Supreme Court and the rest of the Alaska judiciary under the Alaska Constitution.

In any case, Mr. Kirk passed committee muster and his name will go forward to a joint meeting for confirmation to APOC.  Do we want him there?  If you don’t — call or write your legislators.

But Kenneth Kirk and Don Haase are Sean Parnell’s political appointees.  What about Sean Parnell himself?

As it happens, earlier today my colleague at Bent Alaska, E. Ross, posted a lengthy article about Parnell’s own activities indicating Christian dominionist leanings.  Her article, “Gov. Parnell, Choose Respect for All Alaskans,” calls Gov. Parnell out about the contradictions inherent in his “Choose Respect” campaign against sexual assault and domestic violence, in which he “calls for a cultural shift…towards honor and respect for all Alaskans” even as he shows anything but respect for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans Alaskans and our families.¹² The article is worth quoting at length:

Last week, the state senate questioned Don Haase, recent president of the anti-gay Eagle Forum and Parnell’s choice for the panel that nominates state judges. Haase kept off his resume his leadership role in the extreme conservative group, but admitted that he thought sex outside of marriage should be illegal, saying, “I think that would be up to the voters… I can see legitimate reasons to push that as a crime.”

(The judicial panel only has three members of the public, and already has one far right member: Sarah Palin appointed Kathleen Tompkins-Miller, wife of tea party Senate candidate Joe Miller, to the council in 2009.)

Let’s put the pieces together on Don Haase – the person Sean Parnell wants to pick our state judges – and LGBT Alaskans: Leader of the Eagle Forum which pushes a strong anti-gay agenda, worked against the effort to allow same sex marriages in Alaska, worked to take away domestic partnership benefits for same sex partners of state employees, worked against hate crimes protections and non-discrimination laws, and clearly does not support even civil unions. So sex outside of marriage is a crime, and gay and lesbian couples must not be allowed to get married, therefore… consensual sex between two adults of the same gender should be illegal.

This is not the way to choose respect for all Alaskans.

Last year, Parnell flew to Colorado on state money to spend the day with Focus on the Family.¹³ He told them about his Choose Respect project and other ideas for Alaska. Why? He doesn’t need their approval to start a sexual assault and child abuse prevention program in Alaska. What would a corporation that sells harmful pray-away-the-gay workshops tell the governor of another state about his domestic violence project?

The hate watch site Good As You writes:

“Focus on the Family dedicates much time to keeping same-sex couples away from adoption, foster care, and a whole host of protections that strengthen LGBT families. And of course they work every day to deny a fair shake to gay kids and/or the kids of gay parents… [They] talk only about the kind of ‘strong family environment’ that’s defined by evangelism and heterosexuality.”

This is not the way to choose respect for all Alaskans.…

OK, Gov. Parnell. Put your money where your mouth is. Tell ALL Alaskans who have been abused, including LGBT Alaskans, that you support us and we are not alone. Show all Alaskans, including LGBT Alaskans and those who abuse us, that together we can break the silence and choose respect. Walk the talk: Be a role model for how to choose respect by choosing leaders who respect all Alaskans. Call for a cultural shift towards honor and respect for all Alaskans and encourage the legislature to pass Hate Crimes and non-discrimination bills that include sexual orientation and gender identity. Or start small and proclaim June 2011 as LGBT Pride Month in Alaska. Do it.

Stand at the point of the spear and choose respect for all Alaskans. And mean it.¹²

But something tells me… he won’t. I think we’d be fairly safe to say that Parnell is a Christianist & dominionist, much like Sarah Palin — except not quite so noisy about it. Which actually makes him more effective at it.

Looking forward to a rightwing Alaska theocracy? No?  Then what will you do about it?

References

1. “Dominionism.” Article on Wikepedia.
2. 11 Feb 2011. “Governor Delivers Appointments to Legislature” (press release) (Office of Governor Sean Parnell).
3. 24 Mar 2011. “Sex outside marriage should be illegal, says Parnell nominee: Don Haase was active for years as advocate for socially conservative issues” by Richard Mauer (Anchorage Daily News). See also reader comments.
4. 8/27/09. “Lawsuit asks feds to overrule Alaska Constitution” by Melissa S. Green (Henkimaa).
5. 11 Sep 2009. “Miller v. Carpeneti: The conservatives behind the attack on Alaska judicial independence and impartiality” by Melissa S. Green (Henkimaa).
6. Google search on “changepoint” + “carl ekstrom.”
7. Google search on “changepoint” + “sean parnell.”
8. 9/2/09. “Battle for the bench – Why do conservatives want to change the way Alaska picks its judges?” by Scott Christiansen (Anchorage Press).
9. 20 Oct 2010. “Alaska Supreme Court hears arguments on write-in lists” by Joshua Saul (Alaska Dispatch).
10. 17 Mar 2011. Minutes of the Alaska Senate State Affairs Committee. (Alaska State Legislature).
11. “Alaska: Conservative State, Liberal Judiciary” by Kenneth Kirk (Americans United for Life, 2007).
12. 31 Mar 2011. “Gov. Parnell, Choose Respect for All Alaskans” by E. Ross (Bent Alaska).
13. 10 Jun 2010. “Alaska pays for Parnell’s date with Colorado homophobes” by E. Ross (Bent Alaska).

Related posts:

1. Lawsuit asks feds to overrule Alaska Constitution
2. Miller v. Carpeneti: Judge Sedwick's opinion
3. Miller v. Carpeneti: Case dismissed

Summer 1978, Columbia Falls, Montana. I was 19 years old, back at home after my freshman year in college, working at the local aluminum reduction plant to earn money toward the following year’s tuition — and trying to figure out if I really was, as I had started figuring out back at college, a lesbian. I had no one to talk with about it — no friends I could trust with this stuff…and family? — family was even scarier. Nowhere to get any information, either — there were no blogs, no YouTube, no Internet at all.

I did, finally, locate in a used bookstore in Kalispell (our county seat) a copy of the feminist anthology Sisterhood is Powerful (1970), which included two essays by lesbians. One of them was by Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, founders of the first lesbian rights organization in the U.S., Daughters of Bilitis, and authors of the landmark book Lesbian/Woman (1972). I can’t remember who wrote the other one.

Those two essays were all the information I had — that, and the information from my own heart — upon which to base the decision of whether to accept myself as a lesbian or not.

But they made a difference, maybe even the difference that helped keep me from giving up. While I didn’t think of it at the time, these women — Del Martin, Phyllis Lyon, and the author whose name I don’t remember — were lesbian elders, teaching me, a lesbian youth, that it was okay to be me, okay for me to love myself, and that as hard as things were for me at the time, they would get better. And they did.

Fast forward to September 2010 and the birth of the It Gets Better Project. We wrote about it then: after a rash of suicides by gay kids who had been bullied and harassed by their peers, Savage Love columnist Dan Savage and his husband Terry Miller made a YouTube video to let LGBT kids know that however tough their teenage years, please hold on: it will get better. Two months later, there were over 10,000 videos giving kids that message, and the numbers continue to grow.

Thing is, not every kid has access to YouTube. And so Dan Savage and Terry Miller have now compiled a book: about 100 selected accounts from the It Gets Better Project, now in print as It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living, published just last week. I downloaded a copy into my Kindle for iPhone app last Thursday.

In his introduction to the book, Dan Savage eloquently expresses the frustration a lot of us LGBT adults have had as we were forced to stand idly by while homophobic parents, ministers, teachers, and kids battered the hell out of the bodies and spirits of LGBT youth:

The culture used to offer this deal to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people: You’re ours to torture until you’re eighteen. You will be bullied and tormented at school, at home, at church — until you’re eighteen. Then, you can do what you want. You can come out, you can move away, and maybe, if the damage we’ve done isn’t too severe, you can recover and build a life for yourself. There’s just one thing you can’t do after you turn eighteen: You can’t talk to the kids we’re still torturing, the LGBT teenagers being assaulted emotionally, physically, and spiritually in the same cities, schools, and churches you escaped from. And if you do attempt to talk to the kids we’re still torturing, we’ll impugn your motives, we’ll accuse you of being a pedophile or pederast, we’ll claim you’re trying to recruit children into “the gay lifestyle.”

That was the old order and it fell apart when the It Gets Better Project went viral. Suddenly gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender adults all over the world — all over the world — were speaking to LGBT youth. We weren’t waiting for permission anymore. We found our voices.

The project, of course, cannot solve all the problems of anti-LGBT bullying in school — much less the self-hatred fostered by homophobic preachers and their believers who are, all too often, the family members and “friends” of trans, bi, gay, and lesbian kids. Dan Savage acknowledged as much in his introduction, and also in an interview last week with the San Francisco Bay Guardian:

There are kids in situations of extreme isolation, where all we can do is put the message in a bottle and throw it to the sea and give them hope for the future.

But sometimes that message in a bottle makes all the difference — as it did for me. And so this story, which Savage told to NPR’s Terri Gross last week on “Fresh Air” —

Forty percent of homeless teenagers are LGBT kids who were thrown out after they came out or were outed. And you know, a huge problem, something that makes the bullying of gay youth very different from the bullying of other kids – and other kids are bullied – is that often the families are active participants in the bullying.

You know, LGBT kids are four times likelier to attempt suicide. If their families reject them or are hostile, they’re eight times likelier. And this girl wrote to say that she’s 15, she tried to come out. Her parents freaked out, threatened to throw her out of the house, threatened to not let her see her siblings anymore, not pay for her education.

And so she went back in the closet and told them that she made a mistake, that she was just a tomboy and was confused and thought that meant she had to be a lesbian when she grew up but that she was wrong.

And she wrote me to tell me that she was watching the videos, and they were really helping her be strong and filling her with hope that her family could come around, because a lot of the videos, and now the essays in the book, are by people who had – whose families had similar reactions and then came around and are now supportive.

And she wrote to tell me that the videos were keeping her sane and she was watching them in her room at night, under the covers, on her iPad. And so that one email for me really captures the reach and power of this project, that LGBT adults are able to talk to this girl and give her hope for her future and for her family, give her hope that her family will heal, and talk to her whether her parents want us to or not.

Buy the book: for yourself, for your kids’ school library, for your church or other faith organization. You can also contribute to the It Gets Better Project’s effort to get copies of the book into every high school library in the country.

Here’s Dan Savage and Terry Miller’s video about the book:

P.S. I’m happy to say that my family turned out to be not quite as scary as I thought they were in the summer of 1978. I love them all.

Related posts:

1. Coming out
2. Anchorage & LGBT: if those words apply to you, we need your help
3. An LGBT rundown of the election

Crossposted at Bent Alaska

A couple of years ago, Bent Alaska announced a LGBTQ panel at University of Alaska Anchorage, an institution of which I am both an employee & an alumna.  So on April 1, 2009, I attended the panel which held in the Consortium Library just upstairs from my department.  After I got home that night, I even started drafting a blog post about it.  Then I forgot all about it…until I discovered it hidden away amongst my old drafts.

This post is that post, completed.

Some of the discussion at that two-years-ago panel revolved around improving the kind of support that LGBTQ students, faculty, & staff receive at UAA, whether through the existing student organization The Family, or institutionally through expanding the Women’s Studies Program (which sponsored the event) to be a Women’s and Gender Studies Program; through other institutional means at UAA or the University of Alaska statewide, such as a nondiscrimination policy; or through strengthening the connections between the university LGBTQ & the larger Anchorage LGBTQ community, including ally organizations like Anchorage PFLAG.

(Just a few weeks ago, the UA Board of Regents finally passed a policy on February 18, 2011 which added sexual orientation to the University of Alaska’s nondiscrimination policy.  It is as yet unclear whether the Regents intend this policy to also cover gender identity/expression.)

But there was also a lot of discussion about the whole gender identity/expression and sexual orientation thing, and how we had variously experienced it. We had gay folks, lesbian folks,  male-to-female and female-to-male transfolk, a Samoan fa’afafine alum, a PFLAG mother of a lesbian, another mother of a daughter who might actually be her son (i.e., trans).  We had students, a couple of staff members including me, a faculty member, and a number of people from the community.  We had various ages from college student age all the way to people in their 50s and 60s.

What really stuck out for me was the common experience most of us (all except the “allies”) had of pushing through to be ourselves in the face of huge pressure to conform to other people’s expectations about how we should dress, how we should act, who we should love, how we should be defined in arbitrary cultural ways by the genitals we were born with. How painful it was to not be accepted simply for who we were and are.

Well, sure— I’ve lived through plenty of that myself. It’s just (usually) not quite so visceral to me anymore because it’s been many years since I came out, and I’ve been openly lesbian for most of that time.

But damned if I don’t remember the pressure to wear dresses that I never felt comfortable in, to be “feminine.” Or the fear I felt as a sophomore in college when an acquaintance wanted to talk with me about being lesbian and I frantically counted the very few friends who knew about me — who told her?

As I wrote in another post in 2009, shortly after the veto of the Anchorage equal rights ordinance AO-64, about coming out when I was in college,

It was scary, it was painful, & it was a slow long job to learn who I could or could not trust with this important aspect of who I am.  And as hateful as the “Truth is Not Hate” hate speech that we heard constantly spewed from the mouths of red-shirted ordinance opponents over the course of the summer, the sentiments they expressed were not so different from the conventional wisdom of the majority of my peers in the East Coast women’s liberal arts college I attended from 1977 to 1981. Yes: the same college that Hillary Rodham Clinton attended, a supposed bastion of liberalism.

Sitting in that meeting, I was sent back into those memories, and began to feel worse.  In April 2009, when I started writing this post, I was just coming out of a lengthy period in the cave — the cave being my name for one of the varieties of “depression” (or sometimes plain old despair) I sometimes experience.  The cave is probably why I didn’t finish the post at the time: I was afraid I’d go back into it.  I was coming face to face, for the first time in a long time, with how deeply I was scarred by all that shit of a lifetime in homophobia-land, all the fear and distrust I had for the people around me simply because of who and what I was.

As far as I’ve come along from the all of that, I still have the scars. Anyone who knows me knows I’ve struggled with despair/depression off & on all my adult life — actually, dating back to my last couple of years of high school. For almost as long, I’ve tried to figure out what it was about, where it came from. There are other strands in my background that I can point to — most prominently, the effect on my mother, and through her me, of her having grown up with an alcoholic father — but the effect of growing up in a society that actively hated my difference, well… its hard to measure exactly.  But it’s there.

And it goes far beyond me.  How many friends have I had who’ve suffered similarly because the church, or their family, or their friends, or some combination of all of the above and then some, has been unable or unwilling to accept them on their own terms?

Bob, a coparticipant of mine in a high school enrichment program at University of Wyoming who, at age 17,  jumped to his death from the 9th floor of White Hall, after having reportedly being harassed by other participants about being a “faggot.” My friend in college who was raped after a male visitor to our campus learned she was a lesbian.  My friend up here in Alaska who at age 20 was gang-raped by eight men in his Army unit, then further raped with a broken bottle, for no other reason than that he was gay. Other friends and acquaintances who have gotten lost in drugs or booze, like my namesake Melissa who died of a heroin overdose in July 1983 just a few months after I arrived in Alaska.  Other friends or acquaintances who have attempted, or succeeded with, suicide — at least two women in the Anchorage lesbian community that I can think of off the top of my head, and undoubtedly more.  Other people I never knew but might have, had they not been murdered, like Raymond Barker, murdered by Charles Cole and Matthew Decker in April 1985; Oscar Jackson, murdered by William M. Justice in December 1984; or Peter Dispirito, murdered in August 1974 by Gary Lee Starbard, who received a sentence of just one year for — in the judge’s words — the “unfortunate accident — incident” that led to his victim’s death. (Dispirito is still remembered through a public service award bestowed annually by the Imperial Court of All Alaska.)  By circumstance, this post follows the publication last night on Bent Alaska of Johnathan Jones’ post on the death of his foster sister by suicide. I share, we all share, his grief.

Self-hatred: it’s harm at the very center of us.

And it doesn’t only enter us due to overt acts of hatred against us, or even from hatred at all. I’d say in fact that the most common harm any human faces — the one that most harmed me — come from people who care about us. People who, well-intended, attempt to pressure and coerce us to behave according to arbitrary standards, rather than according to our integrity, our selfhoods as human beings. Strip away all the warnings about God’s commandments or What will Grandma and Grandpa, our friends, the neighbors, your schoolmates, the people at church think? — strip way all the reassurances that We’re saying this because we love you and It’s in your best interests: in the final analysis, it’s the harm that says: Your own account of yourself is meaningless; your feelings don’t count; you don’t count.

Who does not despair, violated in that way in the very core of who we are?

But if the harm is at our center, then so is the cure. The foundational step towards finding a way for myself that didn’t involve killing myself or hating myself was coming out and accepting and loving myself as a lesbian. I was 19 when I did that, a sophomore at Wellesley College.  It took me a few years after that, but that first foundation ultimately gave me the strength to give up self-hatred altogether.

Love others as you love yourself.  But first: love yourself.  Trust yourself.  Respect yourself. Walk easy in your skin. Let no one convince you to do otherwise.

Related posts:

1. Coming out
2. Ode to Alcohol (poem)
3. Letter to a Straight Friend — a poem for Pride

My review shows that there is clearly a lack of quantifiable evidence necessitating this ordinance.

That’s what Anchorage Mayor Dan Sullivan stated on August 17, 2009 when he vetoed Anchorage Ordinance 2009-64, the Anchorage equal rights ordinance, which had been passed the previous week by a vote of 7 to 4 by the Anchorage Assembly.

AO 64 briefly added sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of personal characteristics in Title 5, Anchorage’s equal rights code, which prohibits discrimination based on those characteristics in employment, housing, financial practices, education, and practices of the Municipality of Anchorage. Its passage on August 11, 2009, followed a protracted period of public testimony at the Anchorage Assembly, with accompanying sign-waving and letter-writing both by ordinance supporters and those who opposed equal rights.

We know there is discrimination in the Municipality of Anchorage against LGBT people. Indeed, we presented quantifiable evidence from two previous studies on sexual orientation and sexual orientation bias in Alaska and Anchorage. But those studies were conducted in the 1980s, and Mayor Sullivan chose to ignore both them and the firsthand testimony of more recent incidents of antigay/antitrans discrimination that Anchorage residents testified to before the Assembly.

Many of us know a friend or a loved one who has experienced discrimination. In the absence of legal protections, LGBT people — especially transgender individuals — are vulnerable to unfair treatment. We know those stories are out there. We just need to document them.

That’s why we need your help.

If you are an LGBT person who lives, works, or spends time in Anchorage — or if you’ve lived/worked/spent time in Anchorage in the past — please complete the Anchorage LGBT Discrimination Survey.

It takes about 10 minutes to complete the survey. All survey responses are completely confidential, and survey administration has been designed to ensure the privacy of all respondents.

We need your help whether or not you have personally experienced discrimination.

To make sure that there is only one person per survey, and to ensure that only members of the LGBT community participate, a valid PIN number is required for your survey to be counted. But it’s simple. Just:

1. Contact the Project Manager, Shelby Carpenter, at scarpenter@akclu.org or at 907.263.2006 to get a PIN.
2. Go to http://alaskacommunity.org/ to complete the survey.
3. Paper surveys are also available upon request.

The Community Survey Task Force has extended survey data collection to March 31, 2011 in order to give more people time to respond. Please pass the word along to other LGBT folks who live, work, or spend time in Anchorage, Eagle River, Chugiak, Peters Creek, Eklutna, Girdwood.

Thank you for your help with this important study!

Related posts:

1. My letter to Mayor Sullivan: Please let AO 64 stand
2. Anchorage’s LGBT Discrimination Survey
3. Delay by "task force": My testimony to the Anchorage Assembly

Artemis and Lori: Married Nov 3, 2008 - but the next day California voters stripped them of their right to marry their partner of choice

Artemis &  Lori had been in a relationship for 15 years before they married in Palm Springs, California on November 3, 2008.  The following day, California voters voted to strip them of their civil right to to marry the partner of their choice by passing Proposition 8.  I took the above photo in Anchorage, Alaska 12 days after their wedding, on November 15, as they joined millions of lesbians, gays, & their allies in cities all around America protesting Proposition 8 & other such products of prejudice which deny us equality under the law.  (Alaska voters passed a similar proposition in 1998, about which you can read some of the history in my 9 May 2009 post “Same-sex marriage: A personal history”.)

Yesterday Artemis & Lori’s marriage became more than a legal anomaly again, thanks to a ruling by U.S. District Court Chief Judge Vaughn Walker that found Prop 8 to be unconstitutional.  Undoubtedly the case will go on to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals & thence to the U.S. Supreme Court — but for now, same-sex couples have hopes of finding legal recognition — at least in California & the other few states that accord equivalent rights to same-sex couples — of their love & commitment to one another.

I’m not going to write about this length — I just want to celebrate.

Congratulations Artemis & Lori, & all the other visitors to & residents of California whose love for another was voted off the books in 2008!  Congratulations, all you other same-sex couples who now might be able to marry!

Here’s some Alaska places where you can read more in-depth commentary & analysis about Judge Walker’s decision & what it might mean to us in Alaska:

• 8/4/10. “Day of Decision on Prop H8 – Anchorage rally” by E. Ross (Bent Alaska). Posted before the decision was announced, here’s the basic info on where to go to celebrate the decision.
• 8/4/10.  “Gay Marriage Ban Overturned! *Updates & Reviews*” by E. Ross (Bent Alaska).
• 8/4/10. “Prop 8 Overturned; Time to Turn the Clocks Forward in Anchorage” by John Aronno (Alaska Commons). Crossposted at The Mudflats.  John is one of my favorite all-time allies, ever since I sat through most of the AO-64 public hearings in the Anchorage Assembly with him & Heather last summer.  He does a great job of summing up how the Prop 8 decision relates to the situation for us LGBTQ & allied in Alaska.
• 8/4/2010. ” ‘A private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite-sex couples is not a proper basis for legislation’ “ by Steve Aufrecht (What Do I Know?). A look at Judge Walker’s actual opinion in the case: a good opener to understanding the legal reasoning underlying his decision.

Marriage = <3 + <3 (at Anchorage PrideFest 2010)

Related posts:

1. Prop 8 again
2. Q & A: What happens when you click "Volunteer" at the Alaskans for Parental Rights website?
3. Same-sex marriage: A personal history

Palin: Flailin' failin' and probably bailin' -- a sign from the Hold Palin Accountable Rally, 27 Sep 2008, Anchorage, AK. Prophetic, too: she bailed 10 months later.

I don’t usually read Conservatives for Palin.  For one thing, I don’t have much use for unmitigated laudatoriness toward my former governor about whom I have all manner of reasons to be unfavorably impressed — her incessant untruth-telling, her vindictiveness, her Christianist/Dominionist views, her habit of quitting jobs half-done (though to tell the truth, I’m glad she quit as governor — Sean Parnell ain’t no superhero, but he’s a vast improvement over both his last two predecessors), & her speeches full of the same old tired conservative talking points over & over & over & over [yawn] again.  Oh yes, & let us not forget her famous 2 million dollar meme, which has the distinction of having led to the most popular post on my blog to date. [Ref #1] It also has a nice pie chart that I made, which I will take the opportunity to show off now.

The 2 million dollar meme pie chart, which I created to demonstrate what it cost the Alaska Personnel Board to investigate ethics complaints against Sarah Palin. Notice how 63% of costs were from Troopergate, including the "frivolous" ethics complaint Palin made against herself. Click through on the pie chart to get to my Flickr photostream, where it can also be viewed full-size.

It was with some bemusement, then, that I learned that on Sunday one of C4P’s bloggers took it upon himself to congratulate me for being one of those “with the courage to criticise [sic] those whose lives seem committed to a downward spiral of abusive tabloideeze about all things Palin.”

Why, sir! I do believe that you’re trying to coopt me!

The blog post, “Skinny White Sunday: Alaska Palm Pilot Rocks!” by Rich Crowther [Ref #2], was a sort of Sunday wrap-up of Palin-related news, which in this case included discussion of Phil Munger’s use of the word “slut,” for which I had criticized him. [Ref #3] Interestingly, Crowther said very little about my criticism of Phil, instead choosing to highlight comments I’d made at Phil’s post about Gryphen of Immoral Minority.  Also of interest was that while Crowther made use of the term Steve Aufrecht used in his post criticizing Phil for the same thing — Blogger Tourettes [Ref #4] — Crowther not only didn’t credit him, but even linked to another C4P post (critical of Phil) instead of to Steve’s post. [Ref #5] I’m sure there are a number of C4Pers who now think Crowther is oh-so-very-clever for coining a clever phrase that in fact he just snagged uncredited from another Alaska progressive blogger.

Here’s the relevant section of Crowther’s post.  All the stuff in green is him quoting me.  Links are as they appear in the original.

Mr M has recently been struck down by a bad case of Blogger Tourettes and the issue of the week over at his blog has been “to swear or not to swear”. Is it nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of Sarah Palin’s outrageous good fortune, or to cuss with aggressive, sexually charged, misogynistic language in trying to oppose that?

They accuse C4P of meddling in Alaskan affairs, but here’s what we don’t understand, how can it be more acceptable for those Eurozone sludgers Patrick Hogwash and Regina la Cochon Rose (at Palingates) to involve themselves in matters Alaska? How can it be appropriate to link to that bilious European blog? Huh?

Interestingly, reader, there are now some Alaska Bloggers (eg Mel@Henkimaa) with the courage to criticise those whose lives seem committed to a downward spiral of abusive tabloideeze about all things Palin:

“[I] think that Gryphen frequently goes over the top & over the line, especially with regard to Palin. (But not only with regard to her. For example, I was pretty sickened by his post a week or so ago about Lesil McGuire & Tom Anderson’s divorce.)”

“I’m not a Trig Truther — I have better things to do with my time than to scrutinize photos of her to see how big her ‘baby bump was’…”

“I don’t care if Gryphen is more worried about this than I am; my concern is mainly where his (or anyone else’s) interest might have a negative impact on the life of innocent people. (As with the more recent ‘Track Truther’ rumor, which questions the facts of Track’s parentage — never mind the impact such reckless rumor-mongering might have on the lives of Track or the family of the supposed ‘real’ father. I think it’s Palingates where I’ve seen this stuff.)”

“I think that Doogan was wrong for outing her [Jeanne Devon]. I think the language Jeanne has used to cut him down is frequently insulting, but not as deeply so as Phil’s slut slur. I think that a lot of Alaska progressive bloggers are just participating in the general level of political incivility that is part of the general culture now.”

“I do have a problem with personal attack & demeaning insult… On that basis too I have lots of problems with Immoral Minority. I have often felt that Gryphen is so caught up in his dislike of Palin that he goes overboard in seeking out things to criticize her about, even on slow Palin news days. I often feel he goes over the top & over the line.”

“Gryphen’s blog, to my eyes, is one of the biggest offenders in the ‘gratuitous insult’ & ‘criticize for the sake of criticism’ category that the Alaska lefty blogosphere has to offer.”

The person who wrote all that is no admirer of C4P, far from it, but she is certainly the first liberal blogger in Alaska to address openly and honestly the very real problems which some of the leftist bloggers have – not least in the way in which they have been supporting those reaching beyond decency in their sometimes color-blind desperation to build a conspiracy… any conspiracy. [Ref #2]

I appreciate that Mr. Crowther was kind enough to point out that I’m “no admirer of C4P, far from it,” and also to recognize that I’m a she, not a he (since I sign a lot of posts with my nickname Mel, some people erroneously assume that I’m male).  But I also noticed that Mr. Crowther was very careful to take my comments out of their context, particularly to omit anything I said that was critical of Palin or her followers, even if it was part of the same sentence or comment that he elected to quote, or complimentary to any Alaska progressive blogger.   Since Mr. Crowther never linked to the post where my comments were made, it also made it that much more difficult for any C4P reader to check the quotes & place them in context. The result is to give a very unbalanced representation of my views — perhaps in tribute to that favorite news source of conservatives, Fox News: fairly unbalanced.

So here I am to restore the balance of what I was saying.

The most egregious example was Mr. Crowther’s first quotation of my words:

“[I] think that Gryphen frequently goes over the top & over the line, especially with regard to Palin. (But not only with regard to her. For example, I was pretty sickened by his post a week or so ago about Lesil McGuire & Tom Anderson’s divorce.)”

“I’m not a Trig Truther — I have better things to do with my time than to scrutinize photos of her to see how big her ‘baby bump was’…”

“I don’t care if Gryphen is more worried about this than I am; my concern is mainly where his (or anyone else’s) interest might have a negative impact on the life of innocent people. (As with the more recent ‘Track Truther’ rumor, which questions the facts of Track’s parentage — never mind the impact such reckless rumor-mongering might have on the lives of Track or the family of the supposed ‘real’ father. I think it’s Palingates where I’ve seen this stuff.)” [Ref #2]

Here, typos and all, i’s the portion of my comment on “PA’s Palin Poll – Another Critical View by Another Close Friend” [Ref #6](which was a crosspost of Steve Aufrecht’s post “Blogger Tourettes”) from which Mr. Crowther was selectively quoting.  (Note: all the quotes Mr. Crowther made of my words were from my comments to that same post.):

You ask,

Do you support “Gryphen” (Jesse Griffin) (http://theimmoralminority.blogspot.com/)? Have you read his stuff? What do you think? He may be hung up about Palin’s child’s birth certificate. What do you think about Palin’s kid’s birth certificate? Do you think the birth certificate is a fraud?

I answered about Immoral Minority in my comment immediately prior to your comment. Yes, I read it. Sometimes I appreciate it. Sometimes I don’t. As I said above, I think that Gryphen frequently goes over the top & over the line, especially with regard to Palin. (But not only with regard to her. For example, I was pretty sickened by his post a week or so ago about Lesil McGuire & Tom Anderson’s divorce.)

As for Palin’s kid’s birth certificate — how would I know if it’s a fraud? I’ve never seen it, nor has anyone that I know, since Palin has never released it. It would be nice if she would, because then maybe it would put to rest all the Trig Truther stuff. That she hasn’t released it might indicates that either

(1) she thinks it’s nobody’s business, even though she’s brought Trig & the manner of his birth so much into the public spotlight that she’s made it other people’s business; and/or

(2) she for some reason thinks it serves her interests to keep the Trig Truther rumors alive by not putthing a quash to them once & for all with a disclosure of the birth certificate; and/or

(3) one or more of the claims she has circulated about Trig & the circumstances of his birth is a lie.

Maybe all three. I’m not a Trig Truther — I have better things to do with my time than to scrutinize photos of her to see how big her “baby bump was” — but her tale of the long plane rides from Texas to Anchorage after her water broke certainly seems suspect. And if true, certainly demonstrates her irresponsibility.

I don’t care if Gryphen is more worried about this than I am; my concern is mainly where his (or anyone else’s) interest might have a negative impact on the life of innocent people. (As with the more recent “Track Truther” rumor, which questions the facts of Track’s parentage — never mind the impact such reckless rumormongering might have on the lives of Track or the family of the supposed “real” father. I think it’s Palingates where I’ve seen this stuff.) [Ref #6, comment at 6:24 PM]

Notice how Mr. Crowther carefully leaves out the context of my criticism of Palin’s own behavior with regard to Trig, including the famous account of the “my water broke & then I endangered the life of my child by taking a long journey from Texas so my child could be born in Alaska” airplane trips. And then even a drive from Anchorage to Wasilla.  Oh please.  Notice how he makes me seem even more critical of Gryphen than I am by omitting what I say about sometimes appreciating his blog.

From the same comment at Progressive Alaska, Mr. Crowther quotes this:

“I think that Doogan was wrong for outing her [Jeanne Devon]. I think the language Jeanne has used to cut him down is frequently insulting, but not as deeply so as Phil’s slut slur. I think that a lot of Alaska progressive bloggers are just participating in the general level of political incivility that is part of the general culture now.” [Ref #2]

The full context of that portion of the comment:

What about Devon cutting down Mike Doogan, over and over again, for identifying her?

I think that Doogan was wrong for outing her. I think the language Jeanne has used to cut him down is frequently insulting, but not as deeply so as Phil’s slut slur. I think that a lot of Alaska progressive bloggers are just participating in the general level of political incivility that is part of the general culture now. I think I’ve done so at times myself, & I’m trying to do better. But I also think the incivility & attack language is routinely far worse & more virulent on the right. I’m still appalled that Palin nominated to be attorney general someone like Wayne Anthony Ross, who has a long history of demeaning the personhood of people with whom he disagrees.

But that’s just the humble opinion of a “lima bean.” [Ref #6, comment at 6:24 PM]

Alaskans might remember that during a confirmation hearing before the Alaska House Judiciary Committee, Wayne Anthony Ross compared lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual/transgender Alaskans to “lima beans,” a vegetable he “hates” but would still “represent” if he was hired to be the advocate for “United Vegetable Growers.” [Ref #7] That’s on top of other slurs he’s used, not only against LGBT Alaskans [Ref #8] but also against victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, as I detailed in a letter I wrote to members of the Alaska Legislature last April. [Ref #9] But, gotta make sure that Palin supporters don’t see any of my criticism of Palin’s disastrous & embarrassing choice of WAR — embarrassing especially because the Alaska Legislature resoundingly rejected her poor choice for attorney general [Ref #10] — not exactly a high point for Palin’s record as governor of Alaska. Better not remind Palin fans of that, or anything else I said that might remind them of embarrassing truths about Palin — which may well be one reason that Mr. Crowther didn’t link to the post where my comments were originally made.

Y’think?

Mr. Crowther also chose to ignore my later comment, in which I retracted & corrected the error I made in describing Jeanne Devon’s posts about Alaska State Representative Mike Doogan:

On the other item — Jeanne Devon of the Mudflats coming down on Doogan for removing her anonymity — I’ve got to revise my earlier answer.

Earlier I wrote that “I think that Doogan was wrong for outing her. I think the language Jeanne has used to cut him down is frequently insulting, but not as deeply so as Phil’s slut slur.” Now, having gone through her blog for stuff she’s said about Doogan, I must correct myself to say that I only once found her actually “insulting” him, but not directly. To the extent she did so, it was in reporting on the fact that Doogan was among those legislators whose name was apprearing on little flags put in dog poo in Juneau, such that he had attained the nickname “Doo Doo Doogan.” I.e., she was reporting on an insult others had dreamed up, not originating it. Mudflats is actually one of my favorite blogs to read, because Jeanne is witty & creative in her writing; & seldom if ever lowers herself to engage in ad hominem attacks.

I’ve met her only a couple of times, once at the True Diversity Dinner where she took my picture with Brian the Moose. It hasn’t appeared on her blog though. [Ref #6, comment at 11:48 PM]

Jeanne wrote me privately to thank me for making the correction, & also told me where she had in fact posted the pic of me with Brian the Moose (about halfway down: I’m the one in orange between Republican Gomorrah author Max Blumenthal and Air America’s Richard Green).  Could Mr. Crowther’s ignoring this have anything to do maybe possibly perhaps maybe have something to do with the fact that Palin fans also don’t like Jeanne, whose blog The Mudflats is one of the principal blogs that brought the attention of non-Alaskans to what a dangerously unqualified candidate Palin was for vice president?  How nice to be able to coopt the comments of a liberal blogger like me to put her down!  How inconvenient that I later corrected my incorrect remarks!  How convenient for Mr. Crowther that all he had to do to keep most C4P readers ignorant of my correction was by simply not mentioning it!

Mr. Crowther next quoted from the very first comment I made that mentioned Gryphen:

“I do have a problem with personal attack & demeaning insult… On that basis too I have lots of problems with Immoral Minority. I have often felt that Gryphen is so caught up in his dislike of Palin that he goes overboard in seeking out things to criticize her about, even on slow Palin news days. I often feel he goes over the top & over the line.” [Ref #2]

My full comment:

Anonymous @ 3:40 PM asked,

I wonder if those who are complaining about Phil’s poll also take the same critical look at blogs such as The Immoral Minority where the criticism of Palin runs along the same lines and I see plenty of expletives and worse.

I don’t have a problem with expletives exactly (the f-word for example, which I occasionally use myself); I do have a problem with personal attack & demeaning insult — which is the main basis upon which I criticized of Phil’s poll. On that basis too I have lots of problems with Immoral Minority. I have often felt that Gryphen is so caught up in his dislike of Palin that he goes overboard in seeking out things to criticize her about, even on slow Palin news days. I often feel he goes over the top & over the line.

Your other examples (Keith Olbermann, Jesse Jackson, MLK, Kennedy) all involved personal private relationships that (1) I don’t know enough about to judge & (2) had nothing to do with any of those people’s presentations in public discourse. You’re comparing apples & oranges. I do look unfavorably on people abusing their power in sexual relationships & also when they violate their agreements (such as vows of fidelity) with their partners or spouses. But it’s up to the people they have those agreements with to hold them accountable, not me — since I don’t know exactly what their agreements were; nor do I know whether or not whatever Olbermann did actually violated the consent of any of his sexual partners.

Obviously Phil has no obligation to explain anything unless he really wants to. Seems like Phil wants to. Isn’t that what he just said in crossposting this? [Ref #6, comment at 4:12 PM]

In this case, Mr. Crowther’s selective quote served to leave out my the qualification of what I was criticizing Phil for, or the fact that I don’t really give that much of a shit about expletives.  (See? I just used one.)  But this wasn’t as bad a selective quotation as some of his others.

Mr. Crowther’s final quote of my words:

“Gryphen’s blog, to my eyes, is one of the biggest offenders in the ‘gratuitous insult’ & ‘criticize for the sake of criticism’ category that the Alaska lefty blogosphere has to offer.” [Ref #2]

What I said in that comment in full, in which I was replying to an anonymous conservative commenter who took exception to me saying that despite my criticisms of Gryphen’s blog, I still liked him & read his blog:

Anon @ 10:08 AM –

“Be it known that while I think he frequently goes over the top & over the line on his blog, I still like him & I still read his blog — I just wince a lot.”

Translation for non-leftists.” This guy says stuff I would find hateful and vile on right-wing sites but because he’s one of ours I’ll go along with it.”

For the Left, convictions mean nothing and the end always justifies the means.

I guess you haven’t been reading, Anon. I’ve been calling loudly & persistently ever since Phil posted his “slut” remarks & poll for progressive bloggers to refrain from demeaning insults, & to stop excusing their use of them by the hypocritical justification that “the right does it so we can too.”

Gryphen’s blog, to my eyes, is one of the biggest offenders in the “gratuitous insult” & “criticize for the sake of criticism” category that the Alaska lefty blogosphere has to offer.

But that doesn’t, nor has it ever, meant that I have tossed him on the garbage heap. He’s like a brother whose uglier language I abhor. But however much I abhor his language, that doesn’t’ mean he ceases from being my brother. Same for Phil.

But back to the question of hypocrisy: I have said a number of times that lefties are behind hypocritical when they justify their incivility & ugly language against righties because “the right does it to us.”

Unsurprisingly, almost all of the right wing commenters who have commented on this issue on Phil’s blog over the past few days, including you, are using the same hypocritical strategy: you continually show up, usually in anonymous guise, to gripe at lefties for being uncivil & using “hateful and vile” language, while never once condemning the hateful & vile language from your own side.

So rail as much as you like, but your arguments will continue to have no merit until you stop behaving with such hypocrisy. [Ref #6, comment on February 11 at 10:37 AM]

Better not let C4P readers know that I was also criticizing rightwingers for their “hateful and vile” language — which, in fact, occurs with some frequency in comments at C4P.

In fact, the post Mr. Crowther linked to when he borrowed Steve Aufrecht’s term “Blogger Tourettes” without so much as mentioning Steve was to his own February 6 post critical of Phil’s first post where he referred to Palin as a “slut.”  Comments on that post were rife with “hateful and vile” language.  And also a commenter called Kjanlady suggesting,

Kjanlady: Can we get his address and post it on the web….along with a picture of him, his house, and the car he drives? ) [Ref #5, comment 02/08/2010, 09:26:54]

Though I credit two other commenters, the first a couple of hours after the suggestion was made, the other by Rich Crowther himself the following day, for saying no to this idea –

section9: No. We don’t do that crap. Much as we’d like to, Philip Munger is a pathetic assclown who, despite his efforts to destroy Sarah Palin, is a private citizen. [Ref #5, comment 02/08/2010, 11:20:51]

Rich : I have the impression that Kjan. is probably making a sarcastic reference to the way in which Palingates published personal information about two former C4P contributors recently.

For the record, Mr Munger is a private citizen whose privacy must be respected.

My post sought to challenge his use of language as a blogger. Implicit in that is the hope that he might re-think his approach to blog posting, and be less deliberately inflammatory when he next writes critically about Governor Palin. [Ref #5, comment 02/09/2010, 01:26:31; emphasis added)

But, for the record, not before someone apparently decided to take Kjanlady up on her suggestion, as reported by Phil shortly after she made it.  (Though of course no one has actual proof that the men taking photos of Phil's house & car were C4P readers, because they skedaddled on out of there as soon as they realized Phil had seen them.)

None of this is to say that Rich Crowther or anyone else at C4P is wrong for calling upon Phil or Gryphen on anyone else to be less inflammatory when they write about Palin, or about anyone else.  But notice how seldom they call upon their own side to use less inflammatory language.  Same hypocrisy I was decrying throughout the discussion of civility.  As, for example, when I wrote last week,

It’s clear that just as much on the left as on the right, too many people are willing to excuse their “own side” for employing the same tactics that they condemn the “other side” for. [Ref #3]

Same hypocrisy I was decrying when I wrote — in that last comment Mr. Crowther selectively quoted from –

But back to the question of hypocrisy: I have said a number of times that lefties are behind hypocritical when they justify their incivility & ugly language against righties because “the right does it to us.”

Unsurprisingly, almost all of the right wing commenters who have commented on this issue on Phil’s blog over the past few days, including you, are using the same hypocritical strategy: you continually show up, usually in anonymous guise, to gripe at lefties for being uncivil & using “hateful and vile” language, while never once condemning the hateful & vile language from your own side.

So rail as much as you like, but your arguments will continue to have no merit until you stop behaving with such hypocrisy. [Ref #6, comment on February 11 at 10:37 AM]

That, in particular, is a message that Mr. Crowther’s selective quoting of my comments left out.

Now, since I don’t typically read C4P, it’s possible that I have missed such condemnation from Mr. Crowther or other conservative bloggers there of the hateful & vile language that so often comes out of the mouths or keyboards of C4P readers and other conservatives & Palin fans.  If so, please point them out to me in comments, & I will stand corrected.  I ask that you please refrain from namecalling as you do so.

Meantime, I’ve got to say that it turns out there’s a whole lot of work to restore fairness & balance to the record when C4P writes about one in laudatory terms.  I wonder if Rich Crowther will still think I have “courage” after he’s read this post.  It’s nice to be called courageous, sure, but even better is to be coopted represented honestly and in context.

References

1. 7/7/2009. “The 2 million dollar meme” by Melissa S. Green (Henkimaa).
2. 2/14/2010.  “Skinny White Sunday: Alaska Palm Pilot Rocks!” by Rich Crowther (Conservatives for Palin).
3. 2/8/2010. “Progressive bloggers on Palin: Civility versus namecalling” by Melissa S. Green (Henkimaa).
4. 2/10/2010. “Blogger Tourettes” by Steve Aufrecht (What Do I Know?); crossposted as “PA’s Palin Poll – Another Critical View by Another Close Friend” at Progressive Alaska.
5. 2/6/2010. “Foul Mouthed Alaska Democrat In New Low” by Rich Crowther (Conservatives for Palin).
6. 2/10/2010. “PA’s Palin Poll – Another Critical View by Another Close Friend” — crosspost at Progressive Alaska of Steve Aufrecht’s post “Blogger Tourettes”.
7. 4/14/2009. “Anti-WAR letter: Opposing Wayne Anthony Ross” by Melissa S. Green (Henkimaa).
8. 4/15/2009. “WAR’s antigay letter to the Alaska Bar Association, 1993″ by Melissa S. Green (Henkimaa).
9. 4/16/2009. “WAR goes down! 23 yeas, 35 nays!” by Melissa S. Green (Henkimaa).
10. 2/8/2010. “Midwinter Snow Pictures – and a Comment on C4P Meddling – Updated” by Phil Munger (Progressive Alaska).

Related posts:

1. Conservatives for Palin: A rich field of study for anyone interested in the practical application of intellectual dishonesty & logical fallacy
2. Progressive bloggers on Palin: Civility versus namecalling
3. Progressives, civility, & Palin: Anatomy of an apology

Solitaire by Kelley Eskridge, one of my all-time favorite books

RT: @BJMuntain: RT @Buffyandrews “I love being a writer. What I can’t stand is the paperwork.” –Peter De Vries #

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Cover art: Broomstick Aviation by Nicc Balce

My story “Cold” is appearing again, this time in the Crossed Genres Year One anthology, just released today.

Crossed Genres is a magazine of “science fiction & fantasy with a twist” — each issue publishes stories which combine SF/F with another genre or theme.  Thus, my story was in the issue devoted entirely to science fiction/fantasy stories with lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and/or queer characters.  And you should check that issue out (it’ll be online through the end of October) because there’s not only my story “Cold” but a whole bunch of other really good LGBTQ stories & articles too.  Even an interview with Kate Bornstein!

CGY1 collects 12 stories selected from each of the first 12 issues of Crossed Genres:

1. “The Time of Tales” by C.L. Rossman (science fiction & fantasy)
2. “Back To the Beginning” by Marilou Goodwin (dystopian)
3. “A Crazy Kind of Love” by Jeremy Zimmerman (romance)
4. “The Near-Sighted Sentinel” by Adam King (crime)
5. “Condiment Wars” by Jill Afzelius (humor)
6. “Red Dust” by Amanda Lord (Western)
7. “Deacon Carter’s Last Dime” by Nathan Crowder (urban)
8. “The Strangler Fig” by Jennifer D. Munro (anthropomorphism)
9. “The Bat And the Blitz” by Erika Tracy (alternate history)
10. “The Good Old-Fashioned Kind of Water” by Camille Alexa (child fiction)
11. “The Drain” by M. Palmer (horror)
12. “Cold” by Melissa S. Green (LGBTQ)

As an author, I was lucky — I’ve already got my copies.  But get your own too! Crossed Genres Year One is available in print from Amazon or Createspace for $9.99. Or, you can buy it as a PDF download directly from Crossed Genres.

Meanwhile, my story “Cold” is the first chapter of a novel-in-progress of the same title.  It’ll be online at Crossed Genres through end of October; & if you like it, you can read another story that takes place shortly after “Cold” right here at Henkimaa.  It’s called “Shark.”

Related posts:

1. Crossed Genres announces its first short story anthology — and "Cold" will be in it!
2. Crossed Genres LGBTQ issue: The ad goes live
3. Now I REALLY feel like a writer again