Category Archives: depression

Waking from the grey

The grey is a term I have for one of my modes of experiencing depression.  I wrote about it three years ago: The grey is like a great grey landscape of bleakness, just dust & stones. Emotionally dead: I can’t rouse me, nor can anyone else, to laughter or fun, certainly not joy; but nor [...]
Posted in depression | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Ode to Alcohol (poem)

I’m a safe drinker nowadays (& besides, I love this photo, & Midnight Sun Brewery makes some good stuff!), but back in the day I drank waaaaay too much. Yet it played a role in my letting go, eventually, of self-hatred. It, & my friends.  Same poem I mentioned in my last post. Prosody geeks: [...]
Also posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Out of the cave

I’ve been going through a rough patch lately. A patch . . . oh, about 8 months long. A cave, to be sure, well-supplied with bookshelves, TV, laptop, Kindle, iPod Touch, & plenty of escapist entertainment; but a cave nonetheless, where I lived with my cat & the boy’s dog & not much else but [...]
Also posted in Greens | Tagged | 2 Comments

Remembering Nicholas Hughes (1962–2009)

Nicholas Hughes: a wildlife biologist at University of Alaska Fairbanks who died by his own hand in March 2009. Something tells me his family, friends, colleagues, & partner saw him as something far more than one the headlines over the past week have painted him as — the putative victim of his mother's "suicide gene." His death was a tragedy, yes: but a tragedy because it was a loss of him & for all who knew him. And for many of those, like me, who didn't.
Posted in depression | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

5-HTP & depression

I learned recently that 5-HTP is an intermediate between the amino acid tryptophan (oh ye of post-Thanksgiving turkey dinner sleepiness fame) & the neurotransmitter serotonin, whose activity is targeted by a lot of antidepressants. Thus, 5-HTP is alternative to antidepressants–& from my standpoint, a superior one. This is important to me given my history of [...]
Posted in depression | Tagged , | 9 Comments

Depression & despair

I’ve had lifelong issues with depression & despair — though I’ve never really thought about how they might be related to PCOS or insulin resistance. I have, over time, learned the things I need to do to take care of myself when the pit starts encroaching on me. I’ve never done antidepressants. Someone mentioned to [...]
Posted in depression | Tagged | Leave a comment

Reset 2

S10 test. Chugach Mountains, 10x zoom. The reset continues, with a little help from my PFD. This pic represents part of that: a new camera, a Nikon Coolpix S10, that arrived yesterday — still learning my way around it, obviously, but I’m pretty damn happy with the 10x zoom. And it’s got me posting pics [...]
Also posted in Fitness | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Reset

A few things have gradually fallen by the wayside since my period of depression last year around this time. And so, time to reestablish some default settings in my life, hence the title of this post. In terms of daily habits, it’s been going on three days thus far, in the areas of: physical activity; [...]
Posted in depression | Tagged | Leave a comment

Dissolve

It was as I’d hoped yesterday: the grey was dissolving. Though it took a night’s sleep to really turn the trick. Not quite enough sleep — I’m still pretty tired — but at least I feel more than dead inside now. Dissolving is very much how it felt, how it often feels when the grey [...]
Also posted in Journal | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

The grey

Depression, despair, blah blah blah: whatever one might call it, it’s been a factor of my life for a lotta years — all of my adult life, & some before, at least as far back as the summer after my junior year in high school. Perhaps, given limbo (see below), as far back as sixth [...]
Posted in depression | Tagged | 3 Comments