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Category Archives: Depression
Actually, I kinda like clouds…
Clouds are actually really beautiful, when I'm not feeling grey. A little about the aha! experience of 1984, when I permanently came out of my former self-hatred.
Posted in Depression Tagged aha, Book of Job, Caprica (TV), clouds, giving up self-hate, grey, poem excerpt, Sylvia, Voice from the Whirlwind Leave a comment
Pausing under the clouds: A how-to guide for getting out of the grey
Hungry, angry, lonely, tired: some of the things to be mindful about when life starts looking like shit. Again.
My story of 2009
Not quite ALL about my 2009, because that would take a year to write. This only took several hours.
Also posted in About writing, Alaska justice system, Alaska politics, Cold, Journal, Long Dark, NaNoWriMo, Ordinance, True Diversity Dinner Tagged Alaska Commons, Alaska Judicial Council, Alaska Legislature, Anchorage Daily News, Anchorage ordinance 2009-64, Anchorage Press, Arliss Sturgulewski, Bent Alaska, cave, Celtic Diva, Columbia Sussex, couch, Crossed Genres, Dad, Dan Sullivan, Dave, death, Eddie Burke, Floridana Alaskiana v2.5, Grandpa Claude, Green family, Green-Lieght family, grey, Grrlzlist, Heather Aronno, Hilton Anchorage, hotel workers, Identity Inc., Identity Reports, James Bopp Jr., Jane Angvik, Janson Jones, Jesse, John Aronno, Julius, lgbtq, LGBTQ allies, lima beans, Linda Kellen Biegel, Mark, Mark Begich, Melz published work, Mer, Miller v. Carpeneti, Mom, my apartment, NaNoWriMo 2009, Nicholas Hughes, One in 10, Palin ethics complaints, PrideFest, Progressive Alaska (blog), Ptery, Sarah Palin, Sean Cockerham, SOSAnchorage.net, Stef Gingrich, Summer of Hate, sunflowers, True Diversity Dinner 2009, Väi the cat, veto, Vic Fischer, violence against women, Wayne Anthony Ross (WAR), writing 2 Comments
It’s all just an act… or maybe not
My last trip into the pit — my name for the worst form of depression/despair I sometimes go into — was in November & December 2007. Want to know what it feels like? I'll try to explain. And also how I get out of it.
Posted in Depression Tagged 5-HTP, Christopher Erin Rogers, Flickr, Melz history, NaNoWriMo 2007, the pit 7 Comments
Saturn is Heavier in My Dreams
Saturn is Heavier in My Dreams
My head’s getting squashed again, all low and squat
like I lived on Saturn or someplace like that,
where the planet is heavy, and a woman from Earth
can’t lift her head.
My feet drag like they do in my dreams sometimes,
and I don’t know why . . . like there’s a path
I’m trying [...]
The Daily Tweets, 2009-09-09: Partly cloudy
Coming out of the grey. #
Well, I _thought_ I was coming out of the grey. Maybe not. #
Yet another example of GOP family values hypocrisy. CA lawmaker open-mic’d his affairs w/ lobbyists. http://tinyurl.com/lumho5 #
Twitter app on Facebook finally updating FB status about 3 hours behind the times. #
How much data cited re: homeless in Anchorage [...]
Night of the butcher knife
An excerpt from "Dream," the fifth chapter of Mistress of Woodland, based on two actual experiences — including a depiction of that state of depression I call the pit.
Also posted in Mistress of Woodland Tagged Depression, grey, Night of the Butcher Knife, the pit, writing Leave a comment
Waking from the grey
The grey is a term I have for one of my modes of experiencing depression. I wrote about it three years ago:
The grey is like a great grey landscape of bleakness, just dust & stones. Emotionally dead: I can’t rouse me, nor can anyone else, to laughter or fun, certainly not joy; but nor can [...]
Alaska Love Poem