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Category Archives: depression
Power source
My power supply went out. Something’s begging for my attention. I’m pretty sure it’s me. Continue reading
Posted in depression, Journal, No Way Way
Tagged Bent Alaska, cave, grey, household gods, the pit
2 Comments
Prepping for Netroots Nation — #nn11 #nn11lgbt
A couple of weeks ago I announced that I’m going to Netroots Nation 11 on full scholarship through the LGBT Netroots Connect initiative. Now it’s time to finish preparing for it — if only because I’m about to fly outta here. Continue reading
Posted in depression, Journal, LGBTQA
Tagged "Bow ties are cool." — the Eleventh Doctor, Netroots Nation
1 Comment
Harm at the center
Self-hatred — including, for many of us, internalized homophobia and transphobia — is the harm at the very center of us. Love others as you love yourself, but first: love yourself. Let no one convince you to do otherwise. Continue reading
Posted in depression, Itse, LGBTQA
Tagged giving up self-hate, homophobia, integrity, lgbtq, UAA, Wellesley College
5 Comments
Anatomy of an Epidemic: Book review
An extensive review by Ptery of Robert Whitaker’s book Anatomy of an Epidemic: Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs, and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America, with a personal history. Continue reading
Posted in depression, Ecology, No Way Way, Ptery, Social justice
Tagged ADHD, bipolar, book review, books & resources (mental health), depression, mental health, psychiatry, schizophrenia, sustainability, trans
2 Comments
Alaska Love Poem
In 1984, during my troubled early twenties, I fell in love with a friend of mine. This poem was written to her. But it’s especially a poem about how I came to love myself, & to give up my former self-hatred. Continue reading
Posted in depression, Poems
Tagged aha, giving up self-hate, Lori, love, Night of the Butcher Knife, poem, Sharon, the pit, writing
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Actually, I kinda like clouds…
Clouds are actually really beautiful, when I’m not feeling grey. A little about the aha! experience of 1984, when I permanently came out of my former self-hatred. Continue reading
Posted in depression
Tagged aha, Book of Job, Caprica (TV), clouds, giving up self-hate, grey, poem excerpt, Sylvia, Voice from the Whirlwind
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Pausing under the clouds: A how-to guide for getting out of the grey
Hungry, angry, lonely, tired: some of the things to be mindful about when life starts looking like shit. Again. Continue reading
My story of 2009
Not quite ALL about my 2009, because that would take a year to write. This only took several hours. Continue reading
Posted in About writing, Alaska justice system, Alaska politics, Cold, depression, Journal, Long Dark, NaNoWriMo, Ordinance, True Diversity Dinner
Tagged Alaska Commons, Alaska Judicial Council, Alaska Legislature, Anchorage Daily News, Anchorage ordinance 2009-64, Anchorage Press, Arliss Sturgulewski, Bent Alaska, cave, Celtic Diva, Columbia Sussex, couch, Crossed Genres, Dad, Dan Sullivan, Dave, death, Eddie Burke, Floridana Alaskiana v2.5, Grandpa Claude, Green family, Green-Lieght family, grey, Grrlzlist, Heather Aronno, Hilton Anchorage, hotel workers, Identity Inc., Identity Reports, James Bopp Jr., Jane Angvik, Janson Jones, Jesse, John Aronno, Julius, lgbtq, LGBTQ allies, lima beans, Linda Kellen Biegel, Mark, Mark Begich, Melz published work, Mer, Miller v. Carpeneti, Mom, my apartment, NaNoWriMo 2009, Nicholas Hughes, One in 10, Palin ethics complaints, PrideFest, Progressive Alaska (blog), Ptery, Sarah Palin, Sean Cockerham, SOSAnchorage.net, Stef Gingrich, Summer of Hate, sunflowers, True Diversity Dinner 2009, Väi the cat, veto, Vic Fischer, violence against women, Wayne Anthony Ross (WAR), writing
2 Comments
It’s all just an act… or maybe not
My last trip into the pit — my name for the worst form of depression/despair I sometimes go into — was in November & December 2007. Want to know what it feels like? I’ll try to explain. And also how I get out of it. Continue reading
Posted in depression
Tagged 5-HTP, Christopher Erin Rogers, Flickr, Melz history, NaNoWriMo 2007, the pit
7 Comments
Saturn is Heavier in My Dreams
Saturn is Heavier in My Dreams My head’s getting squashed again, all low and squat like I lived on Saturn or someplace like that, where the planet is heavy, and a woman from Earth can’t lift her head. My feet … Continue reading